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concretejunglefm · 23 days ago

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I'm not ready to let you forget me (part 4).

*edit credit goes to the lovely @defuckingthrone-dot-com

You told your friends you want me dead And said that I did everythin' wrong And you're not wrong

An anon request for lovers to enemies -> playlist, part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5.

Summary: It’s been two years since Noah cheated on you, abruptly ending your relationship. However, the universe seems to have a peculiar sense of humor in its plan to reunite you.

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x reader.

CW: Mentions of cheating, Noah can be an overall asshole and a tad bit of angst. Unwanted touching/groping/kissing, implied further S/A (male victim) via intoxication and mentions use of GHB. Please remember to take care of yourselves and be safe.

WC: 3.9k.

Dividers: Silent-stories.

The next day is your final full day here. By Monday morning, your trip would end, and you’d return to your usual mundane life. Instead of embracing the time you had left, you spent it sulking, wallowing in self-pity over the sting of betrayal you felt from Noah and the rest, but especially Sloan.

You never imagined your best friend would pull you back towards the guy she knew had shattered your heart.

When she tried to talk to you through your hotel room door that morning, you ignored her and hid until later that afternoon, after finishing off the bottles in your hotel room minibar.

As you exit your room, you catch Folio standing at the door to his room beside yours. You consider not disturbing him and trying to slip past, but you have no reason to be upset with him. Besides, his boyish grin always made you have a softer spot for him.

You clear your throat before speaking. “How did the show go?” Their festival performance was today, and while you knew Sloan would be there, probably stageside with how close she and Jolly had gotten over the weekend, you decided to ignore her invitation: “When you’re ready to stop being mad at everyone, you can join me at the festival.”

You weren’t mad at everyone; just Sloan, Noah, Jolly, and maybe even Nicholas with his recent behavior and invitations to both of you. Folio, as well as Matt, was probably the only one you hadn’t yet found a reason to be mad at.

“Crushed it, obviously,” he says with such pride that it makes you laugh. “Can’t do a show without crushing.” His response shouldn’t surprise you; he always took pride in his performances and his ability to improve with each one. “We were planning to go to one of the escape rooms later. You should join us.”

“Oh, I don’t—“

“Come on. It’s your last night here, right? You really want to spend it wallowing in your room?”

“Well I planned to do it down at the bar, actually.” You laugh. “Besides, I really don't think it's a good idea seeing Noah right now. I imagine him and his ex performing today made them pretty cosy, especially after the other night.” You roll your eyes at the thought and do your best trying not to appear irritated by it. You fail.

“About that…” There’s a near guilty expression on Folio’s face which causes your eyebrows to narrow.

“Yes?”

“It's not what you think. She wasn't… that wasn’t... Noah was with me the whole night.”

You scoff and shake your head. “You don't have to defend him Folio, he’s a big boy.” It almost doesn't surprise you that Noah would rope one of his friends into lying for him, into defending him when he was in the wrong.

“I’m not! We were together the whole night. The banging and the moaning you heard, that was us. He said it would be funny and I stupidly agreed.”

“Oh…” The tension in your body fades as the irritation you felt before now slowly dissipates with nowhere for it to be aimed. You'd have gladly held it over Noah for the rest of time, but if it hadn't been true, how can you?

“Like I say, I really think you should consider joining us today. It’ll be fun.”

It's the last thing he leaves you with before slipping into his own hotel room and you actually find yourself considering it.

You caved, and as soon as you enter the escape room, Sloan greets you with a usual sarcastic remark, breaking the pout you had been wearing and forming a smile.

You couldn’t stay mad at her, and you hoped none of this was intentional. However, you knew you needed to talk to her sooner rather than later to prevent yourself from overthinking it.

“Ladies first,” Jolly says, gesturing towards the open door of the escape room.

Stepping inside, you find it to be a replica of a music studio, fitting for a band that had just finished a show.

Turning back towards the door, instead of seeing Sloan or anyone else enter, Noah follows and you catch Sloan’s apologetic expression as she mouths an ‘I’m sorry’ to you.

At that moment, the door closes, and your eyes widen in realization.

Crossing over to the door, you try to open it despite hearing the distinct click of the latch locking into place. “Sloan, this isn’t funny,” you call through the door, but her muffled response only adds to your frustration.

“You both really need to talk.”

You shoot a glance at Noah, your eyes narrowing. “Was this your idea?”

He chuckles and holds up his hands. “Don’t blame me. I had no idea they were going to do this. I didn’t even think you’d want to come after last night.”

“I didn’t,” you grumble, almost angry with Folio for tricking you into coming.

While Noah sits in a nearby chair, you start searching the room for clues or any way to escape.

Your brief search yields to nothing, and you grow more frustrated with Noah for not helping you. “Are you really just going to sit there and not help?”

“Why should I? I thought you worked better alone anyway,” he retorts.

You scoff. He really chose his moments to be difficult. Trying to ignore him, you resume your search, but come to a halt as the familiar chords of ‘Just Pretend’ start playing. Out of all the props in the room, he had to pick up the guitar and see if it could work.

It makes you roll your eyes to hear that song. Even though you've been avoiding the band for the past two years, you've heard it thanks to TikTok and the millions of girls who’ve been obsessed with calling it ‘the perfect love song’. It’s far from a love song, and you don’t delude yourself into thinking it could be about you. But right now, as you hear the change in lyrics, you can’t help but wonder if it could be.

Stepping towards where he’s sitting, you lower yourself slowly onto the edge of the near by chair and listen. He’s completely engrossed in the song, but his voice sounds a lot more broken and raw than it ever does when he sings it live.

Sloan had said that you both needed to talk, and maybe she’s right.

When the song ends, you take a moment to gather your thoughts before breaking the silence. “Folio told me that what happened the other night is ‘not what I think.’” You pause, your gaze settling on Noah, who avoids meeting yours. “He said you were with him all night and that she wasn’t there.”

“Yeah, well, Folio needs to mind his own business.”

“He’s only looking out for you,” you say, feeling the need to defend him. You know it was coming from a place of care for both you and Noah. “Why did you act like you were with her?”

Noah shrugs. “Thought it would be funny.”

“No, I don’t buy it,” you say.

Sighing, he finally resigns himself, if only slightly. “I thought it would make you talk to me. Even if it meant you were angry, you’d at least stop ignoring me.”

“And you couldn’t think of a better way to do that?”

“What can I say, I’m an asshole,” he admits, his voice devoid of gloating. He sounds defeated, as if he’s accepted being tarnished with that label.

“You weren’t always like that,” you say, your voice softer. Your fingers twitch, itching to reach for him but hesitant to offer him any form of comfort beyond your words. “And you didn’t have to become an asshole to get me to talk to you.”

“Really?” His gaze finally meets yours. “Because you ignored me every chance you had.” He slides forward towards the end of his seat, pushing down and onto the floor, coming onto his knees in front of you, reaching for your hand.

Every other time he tried to reach for you during this trip, you pulled away, refusing to give him even a chance to get close. But this time, you let him take your hand in his own.

“Call me an asshole all you want. Tell me you hate me. Tell me you never want to see my face again. Just never stop telling me those things. I hated these last two years without you, and I can’t go back to not hearing your voice ever again.”

This time, he’s down on his knees in front of you, and it’s not because of any request or attempt to humiliate him. There’s a genuine apology written across his face, and you hear it in his voice—the way he grows soft, almost desperate to not let you go again.

As much as you want to forgive him, to let him back in, even at a distance, you can’t shake the memories of what happened. Between him ghosting you, the pictures and videos of him and his ex, and the sound of her voice in his room the other night, it pains you to even consider letting any of that go unaddressed. But the thought of asking about it makes your throat tighten.

“What happened?” You finally choke out and his head, which he had lowered to rest against your lap, finally raises and he looks up at you. “With… her. What happened? You went on tour with her and then you ghosted me.”

You sound more emotional than you mean to and you force a laugh trying to push the urge to cry back down because you’ll be damned if you sit here crying to your ex, over him, in some stupid escape room.

Noah doesn’t answer, instead he pulls himself back away from you, his head lowered, chin tucked against his chest as he slides back onto the chair, avoiding looking at you.

“God, if you cheated on me could you atleast have the balls to admit it.”

“I don’t know.” He mumbles.

“That’s such a poor excuse.”

“I don’t know.” He says it more firmly and finally lifts his head to look across at you. “We were all out. I had something to drink and the next thing I remember I was waking up in her bed.”

You can’t help the scoff you let out, shaking your head because it feels like he's using every cliche and excuse right now. “So you got drunk and hooked up with your ex? Then felt too ashamed to even tell me so you ghosted me?” Your voice slowly rises a few octaves, despite you not meaning for it to. You’re angry and upset and you can’t hold it back.

“It wasn’t like that.” He starts and you continue shaking your head, pushing up out of the chair as you begin to pace the small room, looking back over at Noah.

“Then what’s it like, Noah, huh? Because right now it sounds like you’re just a coward who cheated and couldn’t own up to it.”

“I don’t know, okay? I don’t remember what happened. I don’t know how I ended up there with her, but I did.” His voice sounds strained, like he’s trying to hold himself back from becoming too upset and you see the shimmer of wetness in his eyes.

“Noah?” You move back over to the chair you were sitting in and lower yourself onto the edge reaching for him.

The moment you do, he’s quick to use the front of his shirt to wipe away the tears which start rolling down his cheeks.

“You really don’t remember?” You ask, your voice soft as you tentatively reach out to him, laying your hand over his and he silently shakes his head in response.

“She sent me a video.” His voice breaks a little and he clears his throat. “I can guess from there what happened. She threatened to send it to you if I didn't break up with you and get back together with her.”

“And that’s why you ghosted me?”

“That and I was ashamed.” He forces a laugh and it makes your heart break, witnessing this side of him, the side which was often reserved away from everyone, including you.

“Noah did she…” You trail off as he shakes his head in response to your words before shrugging.

“I don’t…”

You nod and take his hand in your own, raising it towards your mouth as your turn and press a gentle kiss against his palm. You don’t need to press him anymore, you understand.

Whatever happened inside the room must've satisfied Sloan enough to have the door unlocked, because you hear the click a few moments later before seeing it open and your best friend walk in as if she was your savior.

In some ways, maybe she is.

Back at the hotel, Noah retreats to his room, and you can see the dark circles forming around his eyes. After today’s physically and emotionally taxing events, including the escape room, you didn’t object to him needing some alone time.

While everyone else disperses, Nicholas surprises you with a knock on your door.

“There’s something you need to see,” he says.

You invite him in and watch as he pulls out his phone and steps towards you. He scrolls and taps on the screen until he’s satisfied with what he finds.

“What’s this?” you ask, taking the phone and looking down to see a video open and paused on the screen.

“What really happened,” Nicholas says. “Noah hasn’t seen the full video. Matt managed to get the full thing after talking to a few guys who were there that night.”

Moving across the room towards the bed, you settle on the edge as you take a breath and press play.

You hear the same giggle, the same high-pitched, dragging-out “Nowah” that makes your skin crawl. You really don’t want to watch this, especially when she comes into view. It makes your stomach turn and bile rise up your throat. Why do you want to watch your boyfriend making out with another girl, especially the ex he ghosted you for?

Except that isn’t what starts playing out on the screen in front of you. Noah, who looks barely conscious, is being grabbed and groped by the same girl. Her chest is pressed to his face as she giggles, acting like he’s the one behind the actions when he’s merely a puppet for her amusement.

You want to look away, to turn it off. In your mind, you’ve seen enough, but you can’t stop. The phone trembles in your hands as you watch the rest of the video.

Her fingers rake through his hair, tugging up his heavy head and cooing something almost unintelligible against his lips. Noah speaks enough for you to catch a faint word—your name. It leaves his lips and tightens your chest. Did he think it was you? Did he want it to be? Was he calling out for you? Regardless, your name is quickly dismissed by his ex, who says, “She’s not here right now, baby, but don’t worry, I’ll help you forget all about her.” The moment her lips meet his in a forced kiss, you push the phone back, shaking your head.

“I-I can’t, I’ve seen enough.” You can piece together the same puzzle that Noah did.

In his mind, he believed he had cheated, but the reality was he had been gaslit, shown only the edited version of the video where his ex was all over him and then kissing him. Waking up beside her the next morning made him reach an easy conclusion.

You want to vomit; the thought of everything that happened makes your stomach churn, and it hurts your chest not only for what you saw but also for Noah. The thought of him being burdened by this, holding onto something he thought he needed to be ashamed of and how you treated him, suddenly makes you feel guilty. You shouldn’t have been so hasty to block him, to try to cut him out of your life. What if every spam account he watched you from was his way of trying to reach out? What if he had been trying, but you just pushed him away, driving him further back every time?

“I can see why you haven’t shown him. How long have you had this?” When you look at Nicholas, you can see the struggle in his eyes at trying to keep this from his best friend.

“A few months,” he confesses, twisting his mouth. It’s as if you can see the guilt gnawing at him. “I don’t know if showing him would make things worse.”

“Definitely worse.” You whisper. You knew beneath the hardened cocky exterior was a softer heart, one Noah tried to protect and failing to do so always opened up a possibility for him diving off the deep end.

“Have you spoken to her?” When the question leaves your lips you shake your head, dismissing it yourself. “Sorry, that was dumb, of course you wouldn't.”

“We’ve tried. She refuses to get back to any of us, even her team have now told us to ‘stop harassing her’.” He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “She's here you know, at the hotel.”

At those words it's like you see red and suddenly every ounce of logic you have dissipates and you’re carrying yourself from your hotel room and downstairs, walking throughout the hotel as if you'll miraculously bump into his ex in the hallway or casino.

On your way, you pick up the addition of Folio and Matt, followed by Sloan and Jolly. Sloan tries to reason with you, but Folio urges you on, as if you’ll start a fight with her.

“What are you going to say to her?” Sloan asks, trying to pull you out of your rage filled trance.

“Nice to meet you. I’m the girl whose life you ruined, just like Noah’s.” You make a vague gesture, causing Jolly to chuckle. You hear a thump from his direction, indicating that Sloan hit him in response.

“You really can’t think confronting her here is a good idea.”

“Why not? She keeps hiding behind her team and everyone else. Better to catch her when she least expects it.”

“I thought you didn’t care about him.” Sloan’s voice is softer this time, and it stops you in your tracks.

You had said that, tried to act nonchalant about him, but now you’re ready to dive headfirst into his battle for what? Because you still cared?

You didn’t have time to debate Sloan’s question, and that all slips away when you catch a familiar face.

Noah’s ex.

She’s surrounded by a small crowd of people you can only assume are part of her crew. You quickly pull away from your group and head towards her, calling out to her.

You don’t know what you expected when you come face to face with her, that somehow you’ll spew everything you’ve been thinking about and holding in since he ghosted you for her, but now you’re left silent as you stand before her.

She’s beautiful, and you were never blind to that or envious of it, but now you see that there’s a distinct sneer at the corner of her lips, as if she’s looking down on you rather than at you.

Just as one of her crew approaches to gesture you to move away, you sidestep them and come towards her.

“I know what you did.”

She lets out a laugh, looking around as if appalled by such an odd accusation from a stranger. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

“Noah,” your eyes meet hers, and you notice the dimming of her gaze. The cocky facade she maintains slightly falters. “I know what you did.”

As she prepares to respond, her eyes divert behind you, and you hear your name being called.

Following her gaze, they fall on Noah, who is coaxing you away. His face remains as sunken as before. Since his confession, he has lost all of his composure, and you can’t help but wonder if it’s due to the exhaustion of holding onto it or if he has finally stopped pretending to be someone he’s not around you.

“No, she needs to acknowledge what she did.” You insist, turning back to face her.

“What I did was merely have some fun.” She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest.

“That’s what you call fun?!” You feel a hand on your shoulder as Nicholas steps up to you, attempting to calm you down as your voice rises.

“A few drops of GHB to relax him. He was so tense that night.” She glances past you in Noah’s direction, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. “He passed out before any real fun could occur, though.” Her mouth curls into a pout, and you feel an instant urge to lunge at her, but Nick’s hand restrains you.

“So, what you’re implying is that nothing happened?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Apart from the video your little friends apparently got ahold of, no.”

“So, you put him in your bed to make him believe he cheated? Why? Because did wanted him back?”

“I didn’t make him believe anything; he came to that conclusion on his own. It sounds like a guilty conscience to me.”

Your hand twitches, and you feel Nick move down and grasp at your wrist, as if silently preventing you from lashing out at her.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me.” She attempts to move forward and pass you, and Nick pulls you back, out of the way, as you turn to look over at Noah.

This moment should be filled with joy as you both reunite, victorious over the evil that once plagued you. Yet, instead of embracing each other, you find yourself standing there, staring at Noah, an apologetic look etched on your face.

You had known she was manipulative, but you never imagined she would resort to such extreme measures, framing Noah for cheating while making him believe the worst had happened to him.

The way Noah looked at you was a mix of shame and disappointment. You had never lashed out at anyone the way you had her, never had to be restrained and pulled away from a potential fight. You didn’t even think you had the skills to fight beyond the occasional hair-pulling and slapping. But you had been ready then. It was all thanks to Nicholas’s presence, which prevented you from confronting her in the hotel’s public space.

Imagine how that would've looked. Another story for her to spin in her favor.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, unable to lift your gaze from the floor. Shame washes over you, not just for your actions but also for not being able to bear the disappointment in Noah's eyes for much longer.

You had always prided yourself on being level-headed, but around Noah, everything changed. Whether it was his behavior or your own emotions getting the better of you, the intensity of your feelings for him surpassed anything you had ever experienced with anyone else.

“Noah, please,” you take a step towards him, reaching out to him. But instead of embracing you, he turns away, it's his turn to walk away now, and shaking his head, he retreats from you, leaving.

When you look over to your best friend, Sloan, she offers you a comforting expression before moving in. Your lips tremble as you whisper, “I didn’t mean for this to happen.” She gently shushes you, pulling you into her arms. It feels so familiar now, after her months of comforting you. She doesn’t even hold the cruelty of your words from the previous night against you.

You don’t deserve her, and maybe on some level, you don’t deserve Noah either.

tagged: @fadingangelwisp @deathblacksmoke @geminigirlfromfinland @fuck1ng-queen @xxkittenkissesxx @lacy1986 @ichoosetenderomens @chey-h @blade-dressed-in-red @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @halfalgorithmhafdeity @dominuslunae @tosoundlessdarkistare @annthepenguin @samanthasgone @littlebear423 @aprosiacperson @flowery-mess @nyriastark @blackgirlmagicforever

#bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian fan fiction #bad omens fanfic #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian fic #bad omens fic #lovers to enemies fic #concretejunglefm fics #asshole!noah sebastian

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lullydoesstuff · 6 months ago

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- TOP DYSTOPIAN BOOKS -

Well, since I want to use this blog for personal stuff too and not just for requests or stuff concerning my MANY Demon Slayer AUs, here we are talking about some of my favourite books ever.

I love dystopian ones so these three will be very hard-core, I love the Hunger Games, I love Maze Runner, I love 1984 but these three just hit different.

Let's not lose time and let's begin!

3 - Tender is the Flesh (Augustina Bazterrica)

I decided to start with a book that has arrived in my country just this year, I didn't know about it before and I'm so glad I red it, even if it really disturbed me... do you know what the Promised Neverland is? Well, take it but make it Supersayan. And this is the less disturbing one here.

Plot: Marcos works in the meat industry, he always did but recently a virus started spreading, and animals couldn't be edible anymore so what does the government do? They start searching for vegan replacements? NO! They legalize cannibalism. Marcos has a troubled life, his father has gone mad since this "transition" from animal meat to human meat and his wife left him after they lost their son. He works in the meat industry but he swears to himself that he's not like the others, because he doesn't eat meat.

I know what you're thinking, "but this is a book to bring people close to veganism, it's the whole point"... no, congratulations, you didn't understand ANYTHING. This book is way more complex, this because it's about the line that divides humanization/objectification, and this will be a recurring theme in this post.

This book is full of gore (what did you expect?), graphic descriptions, violence, sexual violence so I don't know if I recommend this book to everyone, it's very short but be aware of this if you decide to read it. In any case, the plot is very interesting and it's very well written.

2 - The Handmaid's Tale (Margaret Atwood)

I'm sure many of you have seen the TV series, I've seen it too and it's one of the few cases I say that the series is better than the book, maybe because the series has a more modern setting and so I can actually be terrified by it.

Plot: the world has been almost destroyed by wars and this caused the birth to decrease to 0, and what happens in America? After a coup a new government is instituted... a totalitarian theocracy where religious confessions that aren't Christianity are banned, let's fucking go, this new country's name is Gilead. In this new world women have an only job: being literal baby machines given to rich families to have children.

This is so damn disturbing because, the insemination thing is wild, the man reads a Bible verse from Genesis, and then he just... does it. It's gross, go check for yourselves, human butchering was nothing compared to this.

We follow June, an Handmaid and we just see how things work in this new... amazing... world... I guess.

1 - Unwind (Neal Shusterman)

This deserves the first place, I've never stopped reading a book I loved because it disturbed me too much. I wanted to support the author, he's very good, so I bought all the other books from the Unwind distology... but I finished the first one and never red the second one, please tell me in the comments if it isn't as disturbing as the first one so I can give it a chance or not.

Plot: in the USA a second civil war is fought, but that's not a war where you shoot people from aontoher country to conquer it, or to oppose the government (well... kinda), it's about reproductive rights, many discussions, many things but in the end people decree that you can't abort in any case (*Lully already screaming and tearing off her hair*) BUT you can... well... Unwind your child if you don't want them anymore. But just when he's from 13 to 18.

What does unwind mean? Basically you give your unwanted child to some clinics that literally vivisection them (yes, the person is awake during the process BY LAW) and give thier organs to people that need transplants.

Now you can easily understand why this is the number 1 in this list, it's the destructive combo between "Tender is The Flash" and "the Handmaid's Tale".

We'll follow the story of Risa, Connor and Levi (and this last one oh my God, I wanted to punch his family so bad), escaping their fate of being unwind.

And yes, that scene comes, yes, you will see a vivisection, and yes... you will feel physically sick and need to throw up after, you'll probably have nightmares and life crisis. Also because... the unwind isn't exactly one of the "good guys".

Ah, dear pro-life people that care about a bunch of unborn cells and can't distinguish a human embryo from a dolphin embryo... Read this book, then change your mind about other people's body and take choices just for yours, because it seems we're going back and not aiming foward as we should.

#books #dystopian #unwind #unwind dystology #the handmaid's tale #tender is the flesh #horror #horror books #the hunger games #orwell 1984 #george orwell #susanne collins #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #disturbing books #lets not make this irl

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lostboiking30 · 3 months ago

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Some night time thoughts while I’m sick in bed with Covid.

I want to preface this by saying that I have been aware of Wicked since 2004 and was active in the fandom between 2005-2009. I never watched the musical live(I know what happens tho-thank you for the slime tutorials), I read the book in like 2006 and I listened to the obc obsessively. However, I did fall out of the fandom maybe around 2010 and Wicked became less centralized in my life as I got older. Before I saw the movie, I hadn’t listened to the soundtrack for about 5 years. So it’s been awhile, but needless to say, I *adored* the movie.

I’m gonna be talking about some stuff in act 2 so if you are only familiar with the film, there are 🩷✨SPOILERS✨💚 below.

I’ve been active in a lot of discourse over Glinda being a “villain” in Wicked over on Threads and a lot of people are big mad about this take. And a lot of what I am seeing is that

1) people are assuming that folks who take this stance have only seen part 1

2) defending Glinda because they see themselves as her

3) are assuming that people calling Glinda a villain are simply being reductive and not seeing the nuances in her character arc.

On a related note—I find interesting is that everyone seems to be in agreement about who the “Wicked” one is in “No One Mourns The Wicked”

Now back in the early aughts when I was a teenager, I was admittedly more focused on Elphaba and Glinda’s romance than I was either of their characters, but at the time, I hadn’t seen the play, so all I had to go off of was the book and the OBC and as much as I enjoyed the book, the musical seemed more my speed because of how whimsical it sounded, which was more in line with my hopeless romantic heart that just wanted Glinda to get on the broom with Elphaba and forget about everything and fly off to their happily ever after.

Well…fast forward 2 decades later. I’m 33 now and within the last two decades, one of those decades has been spent in therapy after realizing that I was trans masculine, neurodivergent, and traumatized not just by the shit that happened in my family, but by the near constant political and social disasters we have all collectively been a part of for the last 10 years. The decolonization, deconstruction and radicalization I’ve experienced truly changed the lens on this story and the impact it’s had on me.

Watching Glinda in the first part of the movie was fascinating and entertaining because of how smart her character is. Someone described her as Machiavellian and at first I thought maybe that was giving Glinda too much credit, but the more I think about it, the more I think I agree.

Ariana Grande understands Glinda and played her so well and I saw that the second she appeared on screen.

Glindas performative “goodness” has always been present but it felt more tangible to me watching this film…and it left a bad taste in my mouth (yay for great acting!) because I have known people like her.

On the other hand, Cynthia Erivo’s Elphaba felt so authentic that I couldn’t help but fall in love with her again. This Elphaba was soft, kind, loyal, empathetic, naive, and unwavering. And because I had just gotten into a big fight with a friend who had called me naive and emotional, well I couldn’t help but feel connected to her again.

When i referred to Glinda as a villain, one person replied “wait til act 2. Listen to ‘No Good Deed’ Elphaba wasn’t all good either” and I thought that was such an odd thing because Elphaba didn’t do things with the intent to harm. She was trying to save her friends. She is actively gaslighting herself in “No Good Deed” with all the things others have always said to her.

Elphaba later admits she’s limited and can’t do the things Glinda that Glinda could do, even though Elphaba is literally one of the most powerful witches in Oz. She wasn’t limited. Her ambition lied outside of herself and her desire to help the Animals. She was tired.

And after spending years doing social justice work, the number one thing I learned, especially during the pandemic, was that this isn’t work one can do alone. It’s a community based effort. Organizing is hard work.

Glinda, on the other hand, was self ambitious, and even though she was slowly beginning to unravel and figure things out, it took her losing almost everything she wanted (her freedom, Elphaba and Fiyero) to figure out she had to change. Similarly to the dance scene in act 1. If Morrible hadn’t given her the wand and told her what Elphaba said, I do not think she would have been as compelled to enter the dance floor.

So here’s the thing. I *LOVE* Glinda. But I hate her. She is so complex for all the wrong reasons, and I know that as someone who is marginalized in different ways, I cannot be friends with someone who aligns themselves as Glinda does. And it’s fucking heartbreaking.

That’s the whole point of Defying Gravity. Elphaba and Glinda cannot continue together past that point.

But they changed some things in the movie. Hearing what Morrible said about Elphie at the beginning of DG, accepting Morrible’s embrace and listening to Oz’ guards yell “kill her” should have been glaring warning signs. Yet Glinda still chose to side with them and uphold the wizards tyrannical regime. Not to mention that Glinda’s decision to help the wizard and Morrible led to the chain of events in act 2. Glinda’s not a good person, even if she felt remorse later on.

And don’t even get me started on Fiyero. Like I get why he became part of the guard but the whole working from within the system is fucked too. I also hated that they never told Glinda.

So yeah. This was a really long winded way of saying that I think movie wicked and stage wicked reflect different moments in time and movie wicked is more appropriate for today’s mainstream audiences. I think Elphaba being played by a Black Woman had a huge impact on how she was played and received. I love that Cynthia Erivo advocated to make her Elphie represent a woman of color and that she included inner child and ancestor work into the character.

Ariana Grande knows the in and outs of Glinda and plays her as authentically as possible. And knowing how much the actors love each other irl really solidified how much I believe Elphaba and Glinda love each other.

I spent way too long on this and it’s all over the place but I’m posting it.

Engage, discuss, and divulge in a respectful manner please. Wicked is very near and dear to my heart.

#Wicked #wicked movie #wicked musical #wicked the life and times of the wicked witch of the west #elphaba thropp #glinda upland #Elphie #glinda #gelphie #fiyero tigelaar

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qaxqxd · 2 years ago

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I Didn't Get To Say I Love You. <3

♡Pair: Simon "Ghost" Riley x f!Reader

Genre: Angst

Warning: Mention death, blood, and slight depression.

A/n: felt emo so wrote this shit at 2 am (not proof read typed this all on phone 😭)

Summary: You and your roommate Ghost got into a bad argument. This leads to him ignoring you and regretting it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Ghost have been roommates for a couple of years now. You two were quite literally made for each other. You guys have gotten into fights before, but they were usually small and stupid. They were never as bad as today.

You took a huge risk on their latest mission. Which almost jeopardizes the whole mission. Everyone made it alive and safe at least.

"Bloody Hell, were you thinking (Y/n)?!" Ghost shouted glaring straight down at you.

"You're still on about this?" You frown your brow slightly.

"Absolutely, you jeopardize the mission." He spoke roughly. His British accent would get thicker as he was pissed.

"I didn't jeopardize it! We all made it out alive with Intel." You spoke with more force.

"Almost. We almost died." His hand crossed.

"See, but we didn't-" "Is this a joke to you?" He cut you off. "I did what was necessary-"

"(Y/n). I'm asking you. Is this a joke to you?" He slammed his hand on the table.

"No, but-" "It's a simple YES or NO." Ghost's voice was getting louder.

"No." You spoke a little defeated.

"Goodness, I can't believe they put me on a team with you." He mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Ouch.

I don't think he knew that you heard him. But you kept quiet either way.

"Goodnight, (Y/n)." Ghost said, heading into his room and shutting the door.

You really did it this time. Ghost wasn't usually the type to get pissed off so easily, but you managed to do that.

You sighed to yourself. You definitely weren't going to get any sleep tonight.

The next morning

You got up from your restless night. Walking out of your room. You didn't see Ghost.

Strange wasn't it? Usually he'd be on the couch reading a book, and greeting you with a 'Good Morning.' But he didn't. Or rather he wasn't there.

You ignore it though. 'Maybe Ghost was busy this morning.' A little disappointed. You went on with your morning routines.

As you headed down to the cafeteria for breakfast. You notice he wasn't there either. You saw Soap and Gaz, but no Ghost.

"Morning," You greeted the two.

"Morning," They both replied in sync.

"Have you guys seen Ghost?" You asked a little worried in your voice.

"Oh, he's just showing a new recruit around." Soap spoke with a shrug.

New recruit?

"Oh a new recruit?" You asked with a little excitement.

"Yeah I think you'd like her too." Gaz added.

And it was a girl too? You were glad that there was finally another girl on the team, but you couldn't shake the feeling.

With Ghost? You couldn't help but feel a twig of jealousy rise a little. It was no secret that you had a giant crush on Ghost. I mean the whole HQ probably knows.

Soap was the first person you told. He wasn't surprised. You and Ghost were close buddies. Soap thought you two were secretly dating one time.

"Oh? You know where they're at?" You asked softly.

"I think they should be around the training parts." Soap said, waving his fork.

And immediately you left the cafeteria. Heading straight to the training grounds.

You found them a minute later. You heard the new recruits' soft laughter as well as Ghost's laughter too.

"You're great, Ghost." The new recruiter chuckled. "Thanks, Katelyn." He chuckled slightly.

You were glad Ghost was laughing. He rarely does, but you couldn't help feeling a little sting in your heart.

You told yourself that you shouldn't bother them and you should leave them be.

But how could you? How could you ignore them, when they both were everywhere. The only place they weren't there was you and Ghost's quarters.

You've also noticed that Ghost has been going home later than usual or he's not home at all. Was he still mad at you?

Maybe.

You thought. He was a man of action rather than words. Maybe he was just still mad at you.

The only times you would see him was at training or at mission briefings. Katelyn wasn't a bad person.

She was pretty sweet. She was also gorgeous. Most of the rookie trainees fell head over heels for her.

You would see her and Ghost pair up. They hung around each other a lot lately.

But, why does that get you work up? It's not like you and Ghost were together or anything. He has the choice to see other people, but he wasn't the type to look for love.

So you don't get it.

It's been months. And he still hasn't talked to you. Not a single word. He's been pretty distant.

"Maybe he's still mad?" You asked yourself. You didn't have the guts to talk to him. The stinging in your heart grew.

You couldn't fall asleep at night anymore, unless you cried yourself to sleep.

The person who usually is right beside you. Comforting you and saying sweet things to make you feel better. Wasn't there.

He wasn't there. You cried into your pillow. Sobbing silently not wanting to disturb others.

The next morning You couldn't bare yourself from getting up, but you knew you had too. Or else others might think something was wrong, and you didn't want them to carry your burden.

So you had to get up.

As you realize you had a mission today. You really couldn't afford to waste time.

You got dressed in your usual uniform and headed out.

You were dropping down from your parachute. Everyone decides to group into twos. Apparently there was an uneven number of soldiers. You agreed to be the alone soldier.

Heading down to enemy territory was tuff. Shots fired everywhere.

The main goal today was to find out what the drug cartels were hiding. Easy enough, you say.

Your radio would be filled with a bunch of code and confirmation. You continue to shoot at the enemy. As backup.

You would watch other soldiers moving in closer.

As you saw an empty way being closer to the cartels. You took that route. Moving in closer.

What you didn't know was that.

You were surprised by the attack.

A couple cartel men tackle you from the behind with their knives.

You yelled in agony. Quickly trying to fend them off of you. As you do that, you quickly notice you were stabbed in the thigh.

Making it harder for you to escape from them. You rolled down a small hill, limping away from them.

You were then able to hide behind a broken down building. The part you were in was nowhere close to where the mission was at, but there were still gun firing where you were at.

You collapsed against a wall, taking cover for a bit. You look at your wounds. They were bad, as in. Really bad.

"Shit." You cursed under your breath. You could hardly breathe even.

You were stabbed multiple times in the legs and sides. Shoulders too.

You knew for a fact. You weren't going to make it.

"(Y/n) to Katelyn." You spoke a little shaky.

"This is Katelyn to (Y/n)." She spoke.

"Could you take care of him for me?" You said with a cough.

It went silent for a bit.

"(Y/n) where the fucking hell are you?" Ghost asked with a sharp tone.

You heard footsteps behind the wall, and turned the radio all the way down. Those footsteps were definitely not your teammates.

You were holding onto your wound on the side. Wincing at the tremendous pain.

You felt so tired.

You couldn't escape from here and get back onto the aircraft. Your legs were too wobbly to crawl even.

You thought about it. Would this have ended in a different way?

Maybe Ghost would be a little happy that you were finally gone. It would mean your annoyance would finally stop bothering him.

Maybe he could even be a little happier without you screwing things up. I mean Katelyn is a great girl. She'd be perfect for him.

Another thought crossed your mind.

"I didn't get to say I love you to him." You mumble. You knew he'd probably turn you down, but it would have been nice to say it once.

Well it was too late anyways.

You could feel yourself collapsing. Your breathing is getting shallow.

"Where the hell is she?" Ghost continues searching for her signal. Panic rose in him.

He couldn't lose her. No way it was happening. He wasn't going to let it happen.

He eventually found her. With a pool of blood around her.

He scrambles to check her pulse. It was low. Too low for comfort.

"(Y/n) open your damn eyes." He grasped onto her.

No, no. He wasn't going to lose her. No fucking way. His everything.

He quickly carried her back to the aircraft. The medics took her away from his hold.

He stared at his gloves which were stained with her blood. He held the gloves close to him.

Ghost sat there. Watching over you. He held your hand. Never leaving your side.

You would eventually flatline.

He blamed himself. He should have spent more time with her. He shouldn't have distanced himself from her.

He should have spent every last moment on her.

The nurses let him back in to say one last goodbye.

He held up your hand. Brushing his lips onto your wrist.

"I- I'm so sorry..." He repeated out multiple times.

"I'm sorry, (Y/n). I'm really sorry, I didn't get to say I love you." He mutters breaking into tiny sobs.

As he watches the nurses wrap a blanket over her.

W.C 1.6k

#simon riley x you #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x f!reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x y/n #simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley x y/n

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elizabethwritesmen · 1 year ago

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𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚜

chapter 1 - i remember everything

pairing: firefighter!steve x reader

summary: in high school, steve and y/n were the best of friends. now, she’s moved back to hawkins, and he hasn’t seen her since her graduation 7 years before.

warnings: smut to come in later chapters.

a/n: this is a christmas fic, split into parts. this part does not mention christmas because it is not christmas time yet. also, steve is 28 and reader is 25. this fic is basically a hallmark script but make it sexy and angsty. italics paragraphs are flashbacks. all parts will be out by december 25.

chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4

I remembered everything.

The bumps in the driveway that tousled my car like a carnival ride. The sparkling lake glistening with the sun’s reflection, reminiscent of all the times I snuck out there with my friends for a swim in high school. The beautiful cabin, two story but still small and cozy, haunted by all the scary stories that were told in it by high school students goofing off because they didn’t know what real life was.

The crack in the window where Robin tripped and fell into it that never got fixed because we never told my parents.

The guitar picks Eddie left all over the place, never remembering to take them home with him.

The small stain on the carpet from where the kids spilled a beer they’d stolen.

The huge tree by the water with Steve’s name carved into it, right next to mine, and a poorly shaped heart scribbled beside them.

Yes, I remembered everything.

I sighed as I unpacked my boxes, putting things away where I thought they should go. I never thought I’d be back in Hawkins, and I hadn’t yet decided how I felt about it, but the cards were dealt to me so I had to play them. It wasn’t so bad, though. I moved away less than a week after I graduated high school thinking that if I went to college in another state and started a new life, I could get away scott free from the things that were weighing on me. But it doesn’t work that way. You never get away from matters of the heart. They stay, and stay, and stay.

I stopped abruptly when I heard a knock at the door, going to check it and seeing Robin standing on the porch. I opened it quickly, “Rob!” I exclaimed as I pulled her into a hug. She squeezed me back with just as much force.

“You’re really back,” she sighed, “Your mom told me you’d be here and I was worried it wasn’t true!”

“Well here I am,” I giggled, pulling away reluctantly and letting her in. She walked with me to the dining room table where I had my things laid out and started helping me put them away.

“So how was Florida?” She asked.

“Hot,” I blandly offered, and she laughed.

“Seriously. You disappear the day you graduate and I hear from you maybe four times before we lose touch. I wanna know everything!”

I sighed, pausing for a moment, “I’m sorry about that, Robin. I didn’t mean to disappear on you, you know you’re one of the best friends I’ll ever have and I love you.”

“Oh, you don’t have to apologize to me, honey. I was never mad at you, but only because I understood why you left. Steve and Eddie, though… they went through it for the first year you were gone. Don’t even get me started on the kids.”

“Eddie understood, I know he did. He knew I was leaving, he was the only person I told because he caught me talking about my plane ticket on the phone. And the kids would never have understood, they were too young. Just needing to get out for a while would’ve sounded like a lame excuse to them.”

“But you didn’t just need to get out for a while, you needed to get away from Steve for a while”

“That’s not the only reason.”

“But it was a reason. Right?”

Hesitantly and carefully, I answered her, “Yes. It was. I couldn’t keep letting him break my heart. I needed space.”

“You couldn’t have found space in Hawkins? You had to leave?”

“There was no space in Hawkins. Wherever I went, he found me. He never left me alone. Even when I asked him to.”

“Because he loved you.”

“But it wasn’t enough,” I sighed exasperatedly, “Can we talk about something else?”

“Of course,” she smiled, “We’ll discuss Steve more later.”

“No we won’t,” I rolled my eyes, tossing a trinket from one of the boxes at her. She dodged it with a laugh, carrying on the conversation.

“Really though, how was Florida?”

“It was good. I dunno, I don’t think I fit in there.”

“Why’s that?”

“I’m not all beachy and outgoing like most people there were. But they were all super nice anyway. I made some friends at the college I went to, but I didn’t stay close to any of them after I graduated and started working.”

“Is that why you moved back? Cause you had no friends?”

“Robin!” I scolded, mouth dropping open. She laughed again, lighting up the room. “I did have friends, I’m just not a very social person!”

“Then why did you move back?”

I shrugged, “Florida isn’t the place for me, but I don’t know where is, so my mom suggested I move back here in the mean time.”

“And she’s just, like, letting you live in the cabin?”

“Yeah. I mean, they didn’t pay for it, and I’ve spent more time here than they have anyway. When my grandpa left it to them, they thought it was more of an extra bill than a vacation house. That’s why they’re gonna put it in my name if I decide to stay.”

“What?” she squealed, her eyes going wide as saucers, “So you could be little miss homeowner! That’s amazing! As bad as the economy is, I’d take that deal in a heartbeat!”

“I know, I know. I’m thinking about it. It is nice to be around family again. And you.”

“Just wait til you see the others. They’re gonna be SO excited you’re back! As a matter of fact why don’t we have them over here for a little reunion?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Do you even still hang out with them?”

“Eddie and Steve, yeah. We’re all still pretty close. The kids are all kinda doing their own thing now, but we still see each other a lot too, around town and such. And we still have a group chat, we just don’t send much but dumb memes in it.”

“Damn, Rob. Thanks for including me in this group chat!” I huffed, smacking her arm jokingly.

“You left, you gave up your groupchat rights!”

We laughed together and talked some more as we finished unpacking my boxes. I didn’t have much, no furniture or anything because the cabin was already completely furnished. My grandpa had impeccable taste, everything was extremely elegant while also being perfectly warm and rustic.

“Okay,” she sighed after we threw away the last piece of cardboard, “It’s dark now so I should probably get home, but let’s hang out again tomorrow! Come up to town! I opened up a music shop, you can come see!”

“That’s amazing! I’d love to come see!”

And with that, she was off. I breathed in a deep sigh, a smile on my face as I fell onto the couch and turned the TV on. It was nice to have Robin again. I was impressed with how quickly and swiftly we fell into old habits, gossiping and chatting like no time had passed and we were still just two kids. The person I was nervous to see again was Steve.

The next day, I woke up and showered, preparing myself to go to town. I needed to pick up groceries, and I also wanted to stop by Robin’s music shop, excited to see her hard work paid off.

I slipped on a pair of running shorts and a crop top, throwing a loose cardigan on over it and slipping into a pair of tennis shoes. My hair was curled and I had on light makeup. I felt pretty, but not overdone. I wanted to at least look decent enough that, if I ran into someone I knew, I wouldn’t be mortified.

The grocery store was desolate as I pulled into the parking lot, only a few cars in the spaces and a firetruck parked by the door. I supposed public servants do need to shop, too. I wondered if it was someone I knew, I remember my dad was friends with some of the town’s firemen when I was younger, but I shrugged it off, wanting to get in and out hassle free.

As soon as I walked in the door, though, I was greeted with a high pitched voice, “Y/N?”

I turned to see who it belonged to and was delighted to see Max, behind one of the registers wearing a store polo.

“Hey!” I grinned wide, rushing over to her and going in for a hug. She’d been like a little sister when I’d lived in Hawkins before, and I had to admit, I missed her while I was gone.

“What’re you doing here?” she asked, leaning back to stare at me, “I haven’t seen you in like… five years!”

“I know, I know. I moved back!”

“What? Like forever?” she asked, hope creeping into her voice.

“Maybe. I haven’t decided yet. But definitely for a while. What about you? How long have you been working here?”

“Two years now. Dustin works here, too, but he’s off today.”

“That’s a shame. I’ll have to come back when he’s here and see him!”

“Oh, you should see everyone! We’ve all missed you so much! Even the ones of us that won’t admit it,” she giggled with an eye roll, “Mike has always been stubborn and dumb.”

“Well that’s okay,” I hummed, “I’m here now, so it’s all okay.”

“Yeah, but next time you leave, can you warn a girl first? I missed you a lot!”

“I know, I’m sorry. Scouts honor, next time I’ll shove you in my suitcase and bring you with me.”

“Perfect,” she beamed, her teeth as pearly white as always. She looked older, and she’d grown up beautifully. I didn’t know if she was still with Lucas, but if so, he was lucky.

I let go of her, getting started on my shopping. I didn’t get much, just the basics, and a few minutes later I was done and ready to check out. I wasn’t paying attention and accidentally bumped into the guy in front of me in line.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry!” I rushed out as I pulled my cart away gently. He turned around and my mouth fell open as I recognized his pretty face.

“Y/N,” he said, his voice steady but his face gave him away. He was in utter shock.

“Steve,” I offered back, staring at him, waiting for what he had to say.

Max interrupted the short awkward silence, “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you Y/N’s back.”

He sent her a glare then turned back to me, scanning over me, settling on all the parts of me that had changed. I’d filled out more, and I could tell he noticed. I could tell he appreciated it.

I scanned over him as well, taking note of his khakis and the Hawkins Fire Dept T shirt he wore. So the truck was his. Interesting. He looked good, better than ever. He was more chiseled than I remembered, and it worked for him, from his head to his toes. And his hair was as iconic as always.

“Why’re you back?” he asked me, his voice devoid of much emotion.

“Just wanted to come back for a while.”

“A while? So not forever?”

“I dunno, Steve. I haven’t thought that far ahead,” I breathed out a laugh.

“You never did.”

My eyes dropped, shame creeping in. “I’m sorry for how I left, Steve. I just had to go.”

“Yeah,” he deadpanned, “It’s fine. Is what it is. It’s your business anyway.”

“Steve, please don’t do that,” I sighed.

“Do what?”

“That thing you always do where you pretend you’re not hurt.”

“I’m not. I might’ve been seven years ago, but I’ve had a lot of time for that wound to close, Y/N.”

“So you’re not happy to see me at all?”

“Not as happy as I would’ve been to see you on my doorstep that day.”

I knew exactly what day he was talking about. It was the Saturday, two weeks after I graduated. He’d asked me a month in advance to come over, and I agreed, not even thinking about the fact that I was leaving. He’d consistently asked me for reassurance that I would be there, and every time I promised I would. But I wasn’t.

“I’m just so sorry Stevie. I can’t even tell you how sorry I am. Of all the people I hurt, I regret hurting you the most.”

“It’s fine. Like I said, seven years,” he shrugged, grabbing his receipt from Max and walking out. I watched him go, dejected, melancholy overtaking me.

“You ok? That was rough to watch,” Max gave me a sympathetic look and I forced a smile.

“I’m good, Maxy. Like he said. Seven years.”

She stared at me for a moment, as if she was deciding what to say, an internal battle behind her eyes. “He had a party planned for you that day.”

“What?”

“Yeah. With me and the other guys and Robin and everybody. He was so excited, he never shut up about it. Then he found out you left and cancelled. He hasn’t really been the same since.”

“How’d he find out I left?”

“Your dad told him. He went over to see you and you weren’t there.”

I sighed, my eyes welling up. I couldn’t believe I’d screwed up that badly. All I wanted was a getaway, I never knew I’d be hurting so many people. I never knew he cared so much.

“Max, I-“

“Was in love with him. I know. Everybody knows. That’s why we didn’t understand why you left.”

“He wanted girl after girl after girl. And it was never me. I was never his type. I needed to get away to get over him or I was gonna live a life full of heartbreak and disappointment. But now I see how selfish that was.”

“It wasn’t selfish. Just not well thought out. Have you at least gotten over him?”

“I thought so, til I saw him look at me like that.”

I finished checking out and promised Max I’d be back in to see her, then headed to the music store. The exterior was nice. It was a painted brick building, colorful and bright. There was a huge mural on the side of it, and I knew it was all Robin’s doing because I remembered that particular building being boring and run down before I left.

I walked inside, looking around to see the inside was just as amazing. I was honestly impressed with how well she’d done everything, from organizing to decorating.

“Rob, this is awesome!” I exclaimed as I walked up to the counter. She’d been looking down, doing some kind of paperwork, but when she looked up and saw me she put it down and ran around the counter.

“You really came!”

“Of course I came, have I ever let you down?” I asked, laughing, then added, “Well, other than that one time.”

“You’re right. You did always used to come through. I don’t think you ever missed anything.”

“And I definitely wouldn’t miss this! If I’d known you opened it, I would’ve been here that day to watch you cut the ribbon or whatever!”

“Oh, it’s okay, it wasn’t that big of a ceremony. You know nothing is big in Hawkins unless you’re rich. But I get good business and I’ve kept the doors open. Plus, all the high school girls like to take pictures in front of the mural outside for their instagrams, and that’s actually drummed up a lot of business.”

“I’d imagine so. Show me around?”

She took me to the instruments section, explaining why she’d organized it the way she had and how it made the most sense. Then we wandered to the sheet music, and then to the records. Finally, we hit the cds and a little caddy full of Apple, Spotify, Iheartradio and Youtube gift cards. She also had a small section with assorted local snacks.

“This is great, really,” I smiled, “I’m so proud of you.”

“Well, I actually got the idea from you,” she nonchalantly shrugged.

“When?” I furrowed my brows and asked.

“One time, I was talking to you about how I’m just a band geek and you told me band geeks make it far in life. You suggested I either get famous or open up a huge store full of band stuff and make tons of money. You really thought I had it in me to do both.”

“You did have it in you. You could be in a real band right now if you wanted.”

She full on belly laughed, waving the thought off. “Whatever. Change of subject, I heard you saw Steve.”

“Heard from who?”

“From Steve. He called me mad because I didn’t tell him you were home.”

“Why was he so mad?”

“Well, he’ll say it’s because he just wasn’t expecting to see you and would be happy if you’d have just stayed gone. But I know it’s because he does want you here, more than anything, and all his old feelings are coming back, and he would’ve liked some wanting before seeing your face in the middle of the grocery store after seven years.”

“It wasn’t the middle of the grocery store,” I rolled my eyes, “It was the front. And he was not happy to see me, sorry to be the one to burst your bubble. Old feelings can’t come up if there weren’t any in the first place, Im just a girl he used to be friends with.”

“It was always more with you and Steve,” she shrugged, “Everyone else saw it.”

“If I’d known he planned a party for me, I would’ve been there that day.”

“I know. And he knew, too. That’s why he told us to never tell you. He didn’t want you to feel guilty, and he didn’t want you to have to come back just for him.”

I sighed, feeling even worse than I did when Steve was staring at me with that look in his eyes. I knew him, I knew his faces, and I knew what he looked like when he was hurt. I really did a number on him.

“I don’t know if I can make this one better, Rob.”

“You can. He’ll get over his anger, I promise. The way he felt about you doesn’t just go away, he has a big ol’ soft spot for you. There’s nothing he could ever hold against you, not even this.”

I nodded with yet another sigh, “Anyways, what about you? Any ladies on the roster?”

She looked shocked I’d asked, “Bold aren’t you?”

“Always have been!”

She proceeded to tell me about all the girls she’d been interested in, and all the ones she’d dated since I left. It was nice to see her so comfortable with herself, and it was even nicer to hear that she’d gotten some really cool girlfriends.

“So who are you dating now?” I asked, leaning on the counter, fully intrigued.

“Well, there’s this lady, Shelly. She sold me this building. She’s older than me, but goodness, what I wouldn’t do to -“

“You don’t have to continue that,” I giggled, “I catch your drift. Is she into you?”

“Well… she’s recently divorced from a man, but sometimes she flirts like she’s curious or something.”

“Maybe she is. Maybe she wants to taste your cherry chapstick,” I stuck my tongue at her jokingly.

We were interrupted by the bell above the door, and I turned to see Steve walking in, Eddie on his tail wearing the exact same uniform.

“Oh,” he stared blankly when he saw me, “I’ll come back later.”

“No,” I stopped him, “If me being here is that big of a deal then I’ll go.”

Robin scoffed, “Neither of you idiots are going anywhere. We’re all friends here.”

“It’s ok Rob,” I sighed, “Really, I’m fine with leaving.”

“Steve, she doesn’t have to leave, man. We’re not gonna be here long, and she’s not hurting anybody,” Eddie put in his two cents, and I smiled.

“Hey Eddie,” I walked over to him and he opened his arms wide for a hug.

“Hey Y/N. I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you more,” I poked him as I pulled away, taking in his short hair and muscles more formed than I’d ever seen them. “Fire department make you chop your curls off?”

“Unfortunately.”

“It’s a nice look,” I shrugged, “Very handsome and mature.”

Steve cleared his throat and we turned to him. “Relax,” Eddie sighed, “We’re not flirting, bro. That’s what you guys do.”

Steve blushed. He couldn’t stop himself. “Give it a rest, Eddie.”

“Not until you stop your temper tantrum and let the past go.”

“I’m not throwing a temper tantrum,” Steve rolled his eyes, and Robin took it upon herself to lighten the mood.

“Anyways,” she smiled brightly, “How’s work going today, boys?”

“Well, we have a kitten in the firetruck,” Steve sighed, and she laughed.

“A cat?”

“Yeah, Steve rescued it from a bush, it’s little foot was stuck in one of the branches,” Eddie patted Steve on the back.

“It looks like that cat Y/N used to have, the one that she cried for a week straight when it died,” Steve mused, smiling at me for the first time since I’d seen him again as if involuntarily. He caught himself though, and turned away.

“You remember that?” I asked.

“I remember everything,” he shrugged, “Wanna see it?”

“Of course!” I squealed, and he walked me outside, opening the drivers’ side door and pulling it out.

It was cute, white with silver spots all over it. It meowed as he handed it to me, climbing into my arms and clinging on to me for dear life.

“Oh, he’s perfect,” I hummed as I stared at him, holding him close to me and giving his forehead kisses.

“He’s yours,” Steve said, his eyes trained on me and the cat, “If you want him, I mean.”

I looked at him, seeing if there was any sign of joking but there was none. “I’d love to take him!”

“I thought of you when I saw him,” he admitted to me, staring at his feet and swaying nervously.

“I didn’t think you even still thought about me.”

“All the time.”

His voice was almost too low for me to hear, but I caught it and my heart sped up.

“Steve, I’m sorry again. Really. I missed you every day. If I could go back and be there that day…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” he sighed, “I was angry when I first saw you. I’m not now. I just needed to get over the initial shock, that’s all.”

“So you don’t hate me?”

“I couldn’t if I wanted to. You were my best friend. I just… I just wanna understand why you left. You never told me. Nobody ever told me.”

“It’s…” I hesitated. How could I explain it to him? “It’s a long story.”

“Of course,” he nodded, “Well whenever you’re ready to, we can talk.”

“Okay.”

We stared at each other for a moment before Eddie broke the silence, “You ready to go Steve? They’re gonna be sending out a search party soon if we don’t get back.”

“Yeah,” he nodded then turned to me, “See you later, Y/N. Take care of the cat.”

“I will. Bye,” I smiled, watching him walk away.

Well, at least the anger had subsided. But I was never going to be able to explain the reason I left.

The night of my graduation

The ceremony had taken ages. I wouldn’t have cared if not for the heels that had been cramping my feet all day and the tight white dress that I wanted to rip off. I groaned as I walked to the parking lot where my family was waiting, along with my friends.

The first person that greeted me was Steve. He was always the first to greet me, no matter the place or occasion. In his hand, he held my favorite slippers, fuzzy and cozy and just what my feet needed.

“Aww, Stevie, you brought me slippers?” I cooed, pouting at his kind gesture.

“When you told me you were wearing those ridiculous heels I knew I needed to bring them so I wouldn’t have to listen to you complain about your feet hurting.”

I ripped my heels off with a vengeance and replaced them with the slippers that had cute smiley faces on them, and my face matched the expression. I pulled Steve into a hug so tight I thought we might suffocate each other, breathing him in.

“This is why you’re my best friend,” I hummed into his chest.

We didn’t let go of each other for a minute or two, soaking in the moment. Our hugs were always like that. It always felt like we were never going to see each other again. Only this time, we really weren’t. He didn’t know that, though.

He pulled away, looking in my eyes, a sparkle in his that was all for me. His eyes trailed down to my open gown and the dress under it, and he raised his brows.

“You look good.”

“Just good?”

“Really good.”

And that moment dragged on with a heated glance shared between us, eyes locked on each other and refusing to move until Robin barreled over to us, kids in tow and Eddie following.

“Quit hogging her, dingus, she’s too pretty to only talk to you,” she rolled her eyes, hugging me tightly and chit chatting about the ceremony. Steve stayed quiet though, and that heated gaze didn’t dissipate. Something felt different. Something was off, in the best way.

My family joined us, offering to bring us all back to the cabin for a barbecue and we eagerly agreed. I rode with Steve, naturally, the kids rode with my parents, and Eddie and Robin took his van.

The ride felt longer than it should’ve, tension in the air.

“Steve, what’s happening?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve never run out of things to talk about,” I shrugged, leaning over to brush a stray strand of hair behind his ear.

“We haven’t run out of things to talk about. It’s just, sometimes when I’m with you, nothing needs to be said.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“I think so,” he glanced at me, his eyes sharp and cutting into my heart, right where I wanted him most. Right where he already was.

Minutes later, we pulled in the rough driveway, my hair flying all over my face. He chuckled, smoothing it out over my head before we got out, joining everyone else by the lake.

“They’ve got it decked out,” I commented as we approached, and Steve just smiled bashfully. “Did you have something to do with this?”

“Maybe.”

I giggled lightly, turning away from him to greet everyone else.

“Y/N, Steve, you made it!” my mom beamed, pulling us into a hug, “I see you ditched the gown!”

“Yeah, it was itchy,” I grimaced, remembering the horrible material.

“Well I wanted to take pictures but we can do it later,” she shrugged, leading us to the picnic table. The benches were full, though, so Steve pulled a big folding chair up and sat down, pulling me down beside him, my legs over his lap. That wasn’t unusual for us, we were always touchy and feely, always beside eachother somehow. Nobody even found it odd anymore, though the jokes about us getting together never ceased.

Everyone laughed and had a good time, and as the night wore on, I got a little sleepy. Steve and I had been up and about, but we were back in our chair, my head laid in the crook of his neck and his arms around me.

“Wanna go for a walk?” he asked me, watching everyone else continue their good time. I nodded, standing up. He stood up after me, grabbing my hand and leading me away.

We walked through a trail in the woods we’d found the first time we snuck out to the cabin together.

“Remember the first time we came out here?” he asked me, and I nodded with a laugh.

“I slipped in mud and fell on my ass. I fractured my foot, too, and I couldn’t walk. I was disgusting, but you still carried me back to the car.”

“I don’t mind getting a little dirty,” he shrugged with a wink, and I rolled my eyes. “Not with you, at least.”

Finally, we reached our destination, a clearing by the water. It had the prettiest view of the sky.

“Swim with me,” he stated, as if it was more of a demand than a question.

“Steve!” I huffed, “I can’t swim in this dress!”

“Then take it off. You have on a bra and panties, right?”

“Well… y-yeah, but-“

“Just do it. You only graduate high school once, do something crazy with me! We’re best friends, right?” he coerced, squeezing my hands and pulling me closer to the water.

I sighed, nodding slowly. “Will you unzip me?”

He walked behind me and laid his hands on my shoulders. They were warm and heavy, his grip on me soft but firm. his fingers trailed down my back to the little metal piece and he pulled it down, exposing black lace and my plain black thong. I turned to him, letting the white material fall to the ground, and the way his eyes lingered in all the places a friend shouldn’t look was hard to miss.

“Why would you wear that to graduate?” he asked, “Were you planning on getting lucky tonight!”

“I’m already lucky tonight, Steve,” I sighed, “I’m with you. Now take off your clothes and come on!”

He chuckled, his eyes darker than they’d been a moment ago, and pulled his shirt over his head, then kicking off his pants. I was greedy taking him in, his boxers tight and leaving little to the imagination.

Steve and I had seen each other like that before. We’d walked in on each other changing, and we’d swam in regular swimsuits. All of our insecurities had already been exposed so many times, so none of them even mattered at all. This felt different, though. Being in nothing but dainty lingerie had me shy, exposed.

He approached me slowly, his hands landing on my hips, his eyes meeting mine and staying. He was so close I could feel his body heat radiating off of him, goosebumps prickling my skin.

“Race you,” he smirked suddenly, twirling me out of the way and sliding past me, running to the water and jumping in. I rolled my eyes and laughed, following him and jumping on his back. We fell into a fit of giggles together as he tossed me off, pulling me into his front instead.

The giggles died out, replaced by heavy breath.

“I won,” he whispered.

“What’s your prize?” I responded breathily.

He groaned, leaning his head down into my neck and inhaling.

“You’re driving me crazy. You’re my best friend. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t…”

“Shouldn’t what?”

“Shouldn’t love you so much.”

“I love you too, Steve,” I giggled, but he stopped me, his thumb running over my bottom lip.

“I don’t think I could’ve made it these last couple years without you,” he admitted. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me. Don’t tell the kids.”

“Oh, I won’t, they’d be crushed,” I nodded dramatically.

For a second I thought he’d kiss me. I thought he’d kiss me and I wouldn’t have to leave. He leaned in so close, his lips were less than a breath away from mine. But then he pulled to the side and kissed my cheek instead, then trailed his lips down, ghosting over the sensitive skin of my neck.

I let out a raspy breath, “Steve,” I barely moaned. I needed him so bad I could feel it, I could hear it and see it. I’d been in love with him for far too long. His hand tangled in my slightly wet hair, tugging lightly, pulling me in. His other landed on my side, trailing down my thigh and pulling my leg over his hip. I could feel everything, and I didn’t know how to take it all.

All of a sudden, he pulled away, his hand still in mine but the warmth gone. I whined at the loss of contact.

“We’re supposed to be swimming!” he chuckled, haphazardly pulling me under with him. And like that, the moment was replaced with something lighter, friendlier, but still close.

Later that night, Steve drove me back to my parents’ house. As he parked in the driveway, he turned to me.

“I can’t wait to see you again,” he whispered bashfully.

I stared at my lap, not knowing what to say. I wanted to tell him I was leaving, but he would just beg me to stay and wear me down until I agreed, and I would spend the rest of my life hanging on his arm next to whatever girl he wanted more than me. I was never going to be it for him. I was never going to be what he wanted. I wasn’t enough.

“Goodbye, Steve,” I gave him a sad smile and got out of the car, running inside the house.

#steve harrington #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x reader #stranger things #steve x reader #fireman!steve harrington #fireman!steve

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exhuastedpigeon · 2 months ago

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tell me everything about the giant hangster wip, i need deets

BABY I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED!!!!!

Okay so I saw TGM on a flight like 2 years ago and was like, those two are definitely shippable and then I spent 3 weeks in Europe and forgot about them. Fast forward to October of last year when a friend asks if I'd beta their first Hangster fic and I was like... yes but let me rewatch the movie and I was slapped in the face with the desire to write a hangster Olympic hockey AU.

Except you've know me, I needed some backstory for them being at the Olympics which spiraled into me going "well I'll just write the entire hockey season". The original outline was literally four chapters each titled with a season (Chapter 1 was summer, Chapter 2 was fall, etc).

But Jake grabbed me by the throat and was like "Actually Han, this fic is going to be at least 10 chapters and my dad died when I was 19 and I have not processed that and this is a slow burn long distance rivals to friends to lovers story :)"

So we've got Hangman playing for the San Jose Sharks, Rooster playing for the Washington Capitols, all the daggers playing Olympic hockey together, a truly insane amount of backstory, Hangster being so insane about each other, and a lot of me making romantic metaphors using hockey.

A little snippet from Chapter 5 under the cut :)

“What the fuck was that,” Jake seethes, pushing Bradley into the locker room between the first and second period.

“I lost the puck -”

“No Bradshaw, that wasn’t you losing the puck,” Jake’s not sure why he’s so much more mad at Bradley than the rest of the guys who were on the ice, maybe because he expects more of Bradley, because he knows how good he is. “That was playing so carefully that you got left behind. Stop. Fucking. Thinking.”

“Easy for you to say” Bradley mutters, turning away from Jake with an eye roll, grabbing a water bottle off of the bench as he does.

“Mav,” Jake calls across the room where Maverick has clearly been watching them. “Gonna tell Bradshaw here how he fucked up?”

“You’re doing a pretty good job of that for me,” Maverick says and then he turns to address the room at large. “First period under your belts means I expect the jitters to be gone when we’re back out on the ice. Coyote - you’re moving to a line with Omaha and Hammer. Hangman, you’re moving to a line with Rooster and Fritz.”

Jake opens his mouth to say something - he’s not sure what - when Maverick gives him a look that shuts him up before he can even start. He’s not sure what the fuck is going on - he was centering the second line, more like the second first line with how fucking good they are, he doesn’t want to be pushed to wing. It feels like he’s being punished.

“Same plan of attack - we’re faster, stronger, and better than they are. We need to start actually capitalizing on the turnovers and get some breakaways,” Maverick says and Jake’s heard it all before. It was what he talked about during camp this summer and what he talked about on the flight over and what he talked about while they were cheering on the women’s team. “I expect us to be tied or winning before the next intermission.”

#hangster fic #my fic #talk to me about my ficss pleeease #ask me any kind of questions #hangster

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soobirii · 2 months ago

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Soobin x reader new year fluff!

soobin x reader new year fluff!

OFCCCC!!!!

Omg new years is past sorry for being so slow in the head 😔

But anyways happy new years my loves, I hope this year brings nothing but joy for you all!!! <3

New year, new beginnings - c. Soobin

–—–—–—–—–—–—–

Paring:Bestfriend!soobin x fem!Reader

Genre:fluffy fluffs

Warnings:mentions of drinking, swearing *not proof read*

Mentions of yunjin and sakura**

Wc:742 (tew much)

💌: OMG TYSM TO WHO EVER SENT THIS Req ilysm, ILY ILY ILY, but anyways, this Is my first req and also first time writing for soobin so >\\\<

It was the 31st of December, 2024, the end of a chapter in your life. You were getting dolled up for a new years party at your friend, yunjin's house, when you got a text, from your best friend, soobin. "hey y/nnnn, do you maybe wanna come over :/, I baked new years cookies and I can't eat them all by myself." as you read the text, you felt kinda bad, since yunjin really wanted you at the party, "hey soob, I unfortunately can't make it, I'm going to a party at yunjin's " as soon as you pressed send, you already saw the 3 dots moving at the bottom of your screen, waiting for his reply, you start putting on your pretty pink strawberry lipgloss.

Ping, he finally texts back." oh c'monnnn, she'll forget about you in like 30 minutes when she's shit faced with Sakura " poor soobin, all he wanted to do was spend the last day of the year with you, his y/n. And he was right, yunjin was gonna get super drunk with Sakura, and would probably forget to be mad at you, maybe even forget about you...but you still wanted to make an excuse not to spend the night with him (you stupid?) "but I'm all dressed up now :/ and my outfits gonna go to waste " soobin replies "but it's not a waste if I see it, now is it? I'm wayy more important than those idiots at that dumb party" he had a point, you never really noticed it but you always dressed up when hanging out with soobin, always looking your best, but no matter what, he'd always throw you compliments left right, and center. "fine I'm on my way loser" you made your way to soobins apartment, it was an open plan, it was spacious but cozy...before you could even knock, soobin had opened the door "helloooo y/n!! " he gave you a awkward side hug. As he lets you in, you can't help but appreciate the decorations in his apartment, the tincil hanging from the corners of the ceiling, the fireplace playing on his TV, it was cute. "so... What are we planning on doing, cuz it better be better than missing out on partying with yunjin..." you asked him as you crossed your arms, shifting your weight to your one hip. "well I thought we could watch movies, or play video games, or whatever you want. but I guess there's also lots we can do" you and soobin ended up binging season 2 of squid games (omg yall baddies) and around 10pm you fell asleep on his shoulder.

He just looked down at you, and admired your sleeping figure, how peaceful you looked on him, how perfect you'd look with him.

After about an hour soobin decided to stop his endless scrolling and actually wake you up "hey, doofus, wake up" He lightly shook awake from your sleeping state "hmm?" you were still half asleep and confused "it's almost 2025 :)" he says calmly as you slowly sit up straight from your lying position.

Soobin started shuffling through his Playlist on his TV, settling on a song, "my I have this dance, Mi lady y/n?" He says in an over formally manner, stretching his arm out and extending his hand to you, you giggle lightly and take his hand, he's hands resting softly on your waist, as you slowly rocked, the music wasn't at all in the same rhythm as you guys, moonlight on the river by Mac DeMarco playing softly from his speakers. He gently guides you and spins you around, keeping a firm grip on your waist. You laugh and enjoy the moment, it was nice to be treated gently and carefreely, even by your best friend. You both felt comfortable in the moment, it was almost perfect, soobin slowly shifted a bit closer, as your bodies swayed, his head lowering, his face hovering just above yours, you could feel his breath on your cheeks, you could smell the mints that he always keeps in his pockets. His gaze never left yours as he closed the gap between you two, his lips brushing against yours, you're taken by surprise at first, but you quickly fall into uniscen with him, melting into the kiss, as you both pull away for a breath of air, fireworks go off outside of soobins apartment window "happy new year :)"

#txt post #Txt #tomorrow x together #txt fluff #Soobin #choi soobin #Soobin fluff #Soobin x reader #Soobin x you #Soobin ff #Soobin soft hours

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kerubimcrepin · 8 months ago

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Wakfu OVA - Book 2, Ush [PART 1]

Bonta my beloved...

From these two shots we can see the approximate location of the Crepin-Jurgen residence.

Atcham is, for some reason, the first one at the door. Maybe he's been walking a polite "I don't know those two" distance away from Kerubim and Joris. Idk.

[guy who misses liveblogging Dofus and pointing random things out voice] Here Luis says that it took Joris, Kerubim, and Atcham three months to get the Dofus. I wonder what this means.

DFHGSDFGOASIDKFJSADGKDFHAO;SFHSADJFHAOSUDFHSADJKFHJASDKFHASDJFHASJDFHUSAIDFHASJDKFSDF

Catboy Joris agenda continues to rise.

Two of the silliest things here are an unopened letter that has a chunk of it torn off (unopened for 3 months, mind you), and the lute with two broken strings.

...I really want to see that picture on the wall fully. What does it depict. Hi what does it depict. Hello.!

Judging from the legs, I think it might be Atcham in promiscuous clothes. Literally idk though.

I love you, Luis.

(Random stack of four pillows and a little stool with a bucket and a bowl on it in the corner there. They may or may not have left home midway through cleaning...., or something.)

SFDAJDKSLFJSDHASOUDFHCNSAJDKFHJKASLDFHKJASDFHJAKSDFHKAJSDFASDJFH

They ARE rude, Luis. Kill them! Kill them!

I think Atcham is the only one who is brave enough to say this out loud because Luis has a history of being scared shitless of him.

It is no longer the case after 600 years — he lives here, after all, — but he is still the least likely to get beaten by a floorboard in his sleep for running his mouth.

No comment.

This — the cookies/whatever, and tea in a kettle, — leads me to believe there's a tiny timeskip between them going to the basement, and them getting the map and the Dofus out, and that during said timeskip they had tea and cookies.

Also, I find it so funny that they have three little chairs, and the only one using a chair is Kerubim... to stand taller. While Atcham is literally just sitting on the table.

Very important lore. Truly.

This map is., 200 years out of date. And it was created before the Ogrest's Chaos.. When most of the world wasn't, y'know... flooded.

They're so grandpas... This is so fucking funny I can't.

Also, they couldn't find more than one nail to hold it down, so it seems someone (probably Atcham) just pierced it with a dagger. dfhgjsdfg.

He;s so cute.... i need him to be hit by a car.

Atcham is so glad to have finished this quest... In my opinion, he turns to Joris to say this, because Joris has been worried the entire way back. However, it doesn't help much.

You see, I am insane about this entire exchange. I'm crazy. THIS is why I love the OVAs: they allow us a brief, but very important glimpse into Joris, Kerubim and Atcham's life in Wakfu era.

Joris is weighed down by the morally questionable things he does. Even if it is a "good thing", he isn't proud of it. He's scared they'll hate him, and he's scared that it's a step out of his lane.

However, Kerubim is the one who justifies his and Joris's morally questionable actions. He justifies them through an appeal to the authority of the king, and an appeal to the morality of it.

And he does all of it the second he sees Joris hesitate or be uncomfortable in any way, shape, or form.

He's been doing this for 600 years. This is so unserious.

He just interrupts and disregards everything Joris says, as if Joris is insane for thinking these things... and in a way, he is right — Adamai and Yugo do forgive Joris, who seems to have been agonizing about them being mad at him...

I think Joris overthinks things a lot and starts to panic easily, and Kerubim knows that, and knows how to stop him from doing that.

Besides Kerubim demonstrating that here, he also demonstrates that, really, despite role-playing as their dad, Joris doesn't have the highest authority in this household.

Btw, Kerubim is so very good at chilling when things are actually catastrophically bad, that in my opinion his "this is literally so easy. this is going to be okay. papycha will protect you." may or may not be one of the main contributing factors to Joris doing war crimes in Waven, instead of going insane from panic. Family who war crimes together, stays together.

#ro liveblogs dofus #krosmoz #dofus #wakfu #wak3 #joris jurgen #kerubim crepin

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libraford · 11 months ago

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Idk maybe it's because I'm autistic and don't get how things are supposed to work (I also haven't been able to work for over a decade due to disability so take this all with a heap of salt) but it feels like she needs someone to blame for problems.

You said last year there were three leads but this year you're doing the work of three on your own. Did they quit or get fired? Maybe someone else was the assigned "problem child" last year? But the fact that you didn't get any useful feedback at the times problems supposedly happened and they continued using your work...it just reads like a power trip on her end tbh

One of them left to become a veterinarian and do photography on the side. The other one of them left because there was a pretty big death in the family and also oldest kid was going through his senior year. Both have said that they might come back, but so far neither of them have committed.

The two of them were nearly perfect leads. Like they did all the paperwork properly and had all the details right and they didn't rush and they rarely did anything wrong.

Except when they did. And since I learned from one of them, I learned on all of her mistakes.

So I've had to be retrained.

Again and again and again.

There would typically only be one lead per job, so its not like I'm doing the work of three people the way I was doing the work of like... 7 people at the flower shop. I am still doing the work of one person, but I am doing it every day instead of only two to three times a week.

So the mistakes I learned are more obvious now and I am put in positions where previously I was not, like having to call as soon as there's a problem- because previously I was not often having these problems. I get dinged for not following procedure for this.

She tried training me on groups last year, but every time there was a chance to learn on the job something interrupted it. The first time it was because the person we had doing individuals was going painfully slowly and she had me set up my unit to clear out the bottleneck. The second time it was because our individuals photographer went into labor.

So I've been trained wrong on a bunch of things and had to be retrained. Attempts to train me properly have been interrupted, but she thinks that I received proper training and that I should be good to go.

So I do it. And I do it wrong. Over and over again.

And then I get the critique and there is disagreement between my boss and her boss about how I'm supposed to have done it.

And then I try again. And there's disagreement between my boss and me about how I was supposed to do it.

So my spirit is fuckin' crushed lately and I just want to get to the end of the season but of course there's YET ANOTHER critique at the end of the year where she says I'm bad at receiving critique when I've had to be retrained several times in several different areas, and she claims that NOTHING HAS CHANGED FROM MY INITIAL TRAINING even though documentably it HAS, which makes me feel like a fucking crazy person for suggesting that its hard to keep up with the changes sometimes.

And she says she's tired of arguing with me about how things are supposed to be done when I'm supposed to KNOW how things are done by now because this is my THIRD year in the business and why am I so argumentative?

At the last groups job, I asked her to help be out a little bit and check my work to make sure I was doing it right. I wasn't even done with the first group and she jumps in and tells me my numbers are wrong, changes it all and that's how we found that the guides were different. But when I talk to her about what made me mad there, she has a different story- she says that I did 2 or 3 classes wrong before she jumped in. Which is not what happened to my recollection.

I've asked her to take a more passive role and she got mad at me because she swears that she did take a passive role and now I'm being inconsistent- because I asked her for help and now I'm asking her not to get her hands in it. So now I'm confused again because I remember that day completely differently, and when I asked the rest of the crew they said that she was being pushy. Once she left and I was on my own, I did fine- but being unable to even get through a whole class without her jumping in to save the day kind of crushed me.

So I think she's misremembering a LOT. And making it my problem for bringing up inconsistencies, confusions, and changes. Either that or I have worse memory problems than I thought I did.

And now I'm being told that I go too fast. Because there were days last season where we were done an entire hour earlier than we were supposed to be. And I asked her- did people complain? Were my photos bad because I was fast?

No, no one complained. We had less retakes this year than we did any year.

If no one complained, then the problem is that I'm not taking time with the students to get the perfect photo. The problem is that you don't think I could possibly be that good and that fast at the same time. But if a kid only needs thirty seconds to get the pose, why should I take more time than is needed?

My photos have improved significantly from my first year. Oh my god, they've improved so much. But I'm struggling to learn a new, complicated thing for which I've gotten mixed messages and not gotten a lot of consistent guidance on.

And because I get confused when something is different from what was described, I am told that I can't take criticism.

Well yeah, no- if that's the criticism you've got for me, no I can't take criticism.

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simplydannie · 1 year ago

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The siblings have done their time in prison… and now… they are released back from where they came… the under belly of Rageous. Life is different down here. More struggle, more loneliness… all they have is each other now. But their struggles follow them as they learn someone up top is still after them. And now the thug bosses of Under Rageous are all after them…But being poisoned by the Troll makes life a little harder.

Part 2 || Part 3

Security left them at the elevator. This was the only way to the underside of a Rageous… where the lower class… the nobodies lived. Those on top hardly batted an eye on what would happen down there. Each region had its own laws. Since Velvet and Veneer were originally from the under side of Rageous, well, they were being sent back… the laws there could deal with them.

…..DING…..

The elevator door slid open.

The siblings stood there in the silence. The sounds and lights of upper Rageous illuminated the darkened under Rageous cities… but it still wasn’t enough. They cautiously stepped out of the elevator… it closed behind them and went back up…. Here they were, back in square one.

All they were allowed to bring back down were a few belongings, and that was it. The siblings were completely de-glammed of their fame persona. Velvet still sported her high ponytail. Instead of her glittery outfits she settled for a red, oversized hoodie she wore over a skin tight black mini dress. Her heels were gone, instead she sported some black combat boots. On her wrist a pink crystal bracelet Veneer had gotten her years ago that the upper atmosphere of Rageous allowed her to keep.

The only one who seemed pleased to be out of his glimmer and glammed persona was her brother. Veneer still had his famous swooped up green hair. Like his sister, he also wore a red oversized hoodie and skinny wavy pants with black combat boots. He wore a purple beanie over his green hair… before their rise to fame, he’d always love to wear beanies… Velvet always hated it.

They stared into the dark silence of Under Rageous. Music and laughter could be heard far away. Velvet pulled up her hoodie and began walking in the direction they had instructed them too.

“Hey Vels wait!” Veneer called out as he grabbed his duffle bag running after her. She had ignored him all those months at the Mount Rageous Detention Center… she was still continuing to ignore him now.

“Vels….Velvet! Come on sis, how long are you going to keep ignoring me?” He called out as he followed close behind her. They walked into the main streets… still empty, voided of people.

“How about forever?….. Traitor.” She replied.

“That’s not fair! I had to do it.” He told her.

“No you didn’t you moron!” She pulled back her hoodie and turned round look him directly into his eyes. “We had everything Veneer! We were at the top!” She gestured to the lights above them…Mount Rageous. “Now we’re back where we started!”

“Just because we were on top doesn’t mean it was right. Didn’t you see yourself Vels? You were going mad! And our manger didn’t do anything to help us. She had us torture Floyd!” Veneers expression saddened… he missed the little Troll… unfortunately he never came to visit them… he never returned his letters. Veneer never blamed him, but he still felt hurt.

“And what now? We’re better off out here!” She exclaimed.

“No. But I have an idea. Maybe we could reach out to Floyd!” He said happily.

“You think he’ll have us back after what we did! What? You want to be a happy family gain?” She teased.

“… we could.” Veneer responded.

CLINK!

The sound of metal hitting the ground sounded in the distance…

“Maybe we should keep it down and just get home.” He said.

“Whatever.” She turned to keep walking.

THUD!

She walked straight into someone.

“My bad.” She said. Velvet looked to the see suspicious stranger she ran into. Pale skin, fawxhawk stringy black hair. When he smiled, he bared his sharp teeth… a popular cosmetic procedure done in Under Rageous… made them seem more menacing.

“Hey there gorgeous.” He hissed in a snake like voice. “Where you two headed?”

“Oh! We’re just going home- OOF!” Veneer began to speak until his sister elbowed him in the ribs.

“We’re just walking through. So excuse us…” Grabbing her duffle bag, she turned her brother around to walk the opposite direction. But in there way stood another Rageoun, same pale skin with dark pulled back green stringy hair. He wore some cyber type specks around his eyes….the two Rageoun thugs surrounded them. Veneer instinctively got in front of Velvet.

“Were they going to send us escorts?” Veneer turned to ask Velvet. She shook her head.

“We know who you two are. Heard who you were before your rise to fame, and now, well definitely somebody of high value now.” The sharp tooth Rageoun smiled.

“Didn’t you hear, we were frauds. Not really somebodies are we.” Velvet replied.

“Yeah well despite that, word is, someone up there is still interested in you two. They told my boss that they pay a really good price if we found you and brought you to them. Of course my boss says he’ll pay us double who ever found you. And what do you know, here you are.” He smiled a toothy grin.

The other thug grasped Veneer firmly by his arm, dragging him away from his sister. He struggled, trying to pull away. A dark vehicle was awaiting for them at the end of the street.

“Hey!” Velvet cried out as she reached for her brother. The sharped tooth Rageoun blocked her way.

“You can come peacefully or not. They didn’t care what condition we brought you in, so long as you were alive…. Kind of.” He laughed. He grabbed a Velvet by the arm pulling her along with him. Looking frantically about she grabbed the nearest thing that came in her grasp… a metal pipe.

SMACK!

She hit the thug behind the head. He cried in pain releasing her. Velvet quickly moved away. She ran towards the other thug who still held Veneer.

SMACK!

She hit the thug upside the head knocking him unconscious.

“You okay?” She asked as she helped up her brother.

“Well that’s a nice welcome isn’t it.” He said sarcastically.

“Let’s get our bags and AH-“ She was yanked by her ponytail and pulled backwards. Velvet smacked the light post hard, knocking the wind out of her, sending a pain down her back and head. Through blurred vision she could see her brother struggling with the sharp toothed thug. The thug was bigger, stronger… he had Veneer pinned to the ground. Velvet could see him pull something from the side of his boot…. A knife.

“I wonder how much that face will be worth if I marked it up a bit.” He said gliding the knife across Veneers face.

At that instant something overcame Velvet. Her eyes began to glow pink…. A sudden rush of anger…

“VENNIE!” Before she knew it was behind the thug.

SMACK!

She hit him.

SMACK.

She hit him again.

“DONT YOU EVER TOUCH HIM AGAIN!” She screamed as she kept beating the thug with the metal pipe.

“Vels!” Veneer screamed. But she couldn’t hear him… she was in a blind rage. “Vels! Please stop!… VELS IM OKAY!”

She stopped. Her breathing was heavy. As she calmed down, the pink around her eyes faded away… it was then she could see what she had done.

“…oh…my….god.” She murmured…. The thug lay there…beaten up… and motionless.

“Is he…Oh my gosh!” Veneer began breathing quickly, tears forming in his eyes, his anxiety kicking in. Velvet turned to her brother to try and calm him down.

“I don’t know what came over me… he was… he was going to hurt you Ven…. I couldn’t stop.” She turned back to look at the guys lifeless body…wherever they to came from, there had to be more.

“Veneer look at me. Veneer!” She grabbed his face looking him dead in the eye. “You’re going to have to trust me. Let’s get our bags and run. Just follow me.” She threw the metal pipe she had and grabbed her duffle bag. “Ven please come on!”

It took her brother a moment to recollect his thoughts… she was protecting him… that’s all she was doing… right? He quickly grabbed his duffle bag and took his sister’s hand. They both ran off deep into the under parts of Rageous.

They were alone. They didn’t know where to go, where to hide…and they were in trouble.

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the-nosy-neighbor · 6 months ago

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4 Eddies

So, as a commenter pointed out, there ARE 4 Eddie videos in Commercials, does that translate to 4 separate Eddies running around on Homewarming?

1. Decorating Poppy's tree. Eddie is happy to be helping her with the tree. The focus of the video is Eddie pouring gravy on the red ornament, which is referenced later in The Bad Time. Poppy asks Eddie when he is going to rest and enjoy the holiday. This really reminds me of something (a horror movie? People around them telling them they need rest and something is actually happening? They live? Soultaker? None of them are quite fitting but I know this is a trope.)

A line of Poppy's that sticks out to me is "when are you going to give yourself some time (pause) to enjoy the holidays?" It is a weird way to say that. “Give yourself some time.” Eddie has the only timepiece in the place. Edit: that is what i thought but now there is a cuckoo clock.

But. "What’s a Homewarmin’s eve without a Homewarmin’ Ham in the tree, after all!" So it is Homewarming Eve.

[Puppet]

2. Bored, but have Homewarming gifts to deal with. (He also notably has intrusive thoughts during this bit, which he talks himself down from.) He wraps an apple for Wally, which is slapping a bow on it. You know, he never gives people their gifts. We had him wrapping them, but they said later it was all done. He had his mail bag but he didn't say anything about distributing them, despite Sally saying they distributed all their presents. We have zero proof there are presents.

[Puppet]

3. Super bored, has played tic-tac-toe against himself at least 18 times, but it could be more with the 2nd page. The score is 4 to 14. It should be the other way, if we are reading left to right, as the 1st player to move has a much higher chance of winning. Or ties, since that is probably how playing yourself goes.

He gets mad and shoves things around in this bit, and I have always found it odd that he says "how is anyone supposed to get some recognition around here if they don't have anything to do?" Acting primarily for recognition is weird--especially for a puppet. He seems kind of desperate, too, like the consequences of not having recognition are dire.

He also has a shopping list: envelopes, pencil, construction paper, paper (lined), egg, milk. (I would say eggs, but he has a weird swoop at the end of all of his words.)

[Puppet]

4. Eddie goes for his walk, and immediately is spotted/called to by Sally, who says that everyone has already delivered their gifts without him so he could rest and enjoy the holiday and that he should walk her to the party.

[Cartoon/puppet mix]

Ok, what about this? Eddie is stashed away in the post office because the other Eddies are around and we can't have 2 at the same time? I really had this thought because we didn't get any info on the present delivery, and an alternate Eddie could have delivered it. Along the same lines, what if the Eddie that encounters Sally is not the same Eddie as was in the post office? He does decide to go for a walk in the end of 3. This could be one of those sitcom i have 3 dates and i can't let them know type deals.

But 1 happens on Homewarming Eve. 2 is on the holiday, "I ain’t never had so little to do on a holiday before." 3 says "all day," so we can assume the same day, but that isn't stated. Could we be seeing multiple years' Homewarmings? But Sally says he was there all day. 4 says Homewarming party, so maybe the same day.

Maybe we should consider the split between the Eve vs the Day?

What if Eddie knows there are 4 of him? Or at least 2 of him? Eddie 2 is wrapping presents. Then Eddie 2 and 3 are playing tic tac toe, with OG Eddie smoking Eddie 2, since copies tend to degrade in media. Then, finally, Eddie 4 is meeting up with Sally, because despite the fact that Eddie said he was going to go for a walk, we have no proof that he did so. Besides, this Eddie is a cartoon.

Eddie 1 could have delivered his presents? No, for this to make sense, Eddie 1, the highest functioning (and OG) Eddie does the Homewarming Eve, then we see Eddie 2 putting presents together. Then Eddie 2 goes and delivers his presents, while Eddie 1 and Eddie 3 play endless Tic-Tac-Toe. Maybe Eddie 1 goes shopping at that point, since we have a shopping list. Eddie 3, being a copy, is breaking down, getting mad about being useful, because that's all he is for, to be of use to Eddie 1, and by extension, the others. Eddie 4 gets scooped up by Sally, who may never realize that she is watching different iterations of Eddie throughout the day.

I wonder if through the other bits of Eddie there are any indications that he might be more than 1? We have that one concept drawing that sparked the idea--

Another concept drawing that fits:

There are multiple letters, multiple hearts, multiple versions of the word mail, and Eddie has a ? He has doki doki cheeks. Also, behind this drawing, we see a version of Eddie in some kind of distress. I can only really see the red face and pained look, as well as it looks like some movement of his arm. We can see the pocket of his shirt vaguely, but not sure what else is going on there.

In "commercials," we have layered sound and layered visuals. What if that layering represents multiple Eddies experiencing different things? Like the single pea and then saying 4, all the things he experienced as each version of himself played simultaneously. In this, I can see a wreath, Home's eye from this part, the Welcome home logo, all with Frank on top.

In line with the toy Eddie looking at his price, this Eddie sees himself dwarfed by toys. The realism involved in this presentation during a cartoon version of Eddie segment is jarring. Could he be having a realization about the degrees of realities his different personas have?

And as we can see it the detailed screens at the bottom of that image, we go pea on a plate, nightmare home, real/puppet version of pea on a plate, surrounded by giant toys, the clock, ornament, and gravy, which puts me in mind of Poppy:

And this--

this is definitely part of Eddie's realization, or derealization, I guess, depends on how you look at it. Under "Having a Get-Together?" it says "Consider inviting more peas to the party!" and "Add additional peas according to how many guests there are!" What if Eddie looks down and his thought is "that isn't enough peas for all of me." Especially possible considering that Eddie flashes back to this pea on a plate multiple times throughout his Bad Time.

I have considered before that the pea on a plate is important because it leads to Eddie considering being in two places, but what if it is important because he is think about how he's been in multiple places at the same time?

Puppet Eddie is at Home, and Cartoon Eddie is at the Post Office? Obviously, it would be backwards, because we know Cartoon Eddie is at Home. Maybe it is time to reconsider this idea?

We're hanging a lantern on this new monolith in the neighborhood? And/or, the letters mean something? F with the bug, that for sure references Frank. Also, kind of makes us think of Bug-A-Bye, and we've considered that is a representation of a kind of death for Eddie. In addition, that thumb is right on "J" and a present, so it could be Julie, or it could be presents, since they have figured in so strongly. The code we used this for does not include a J, so there isn't a present to be found on the website? (I have to go and check now.) I didn't see any.

I went off and got distracted, as usual, but nothing else to report. This is an interesting idea. Next, I will either be doing mythology or mentions of "time," especially in reference to Eddie.

#welcome home #welcome home theories #welcome home project #eddie dear #welcome home theory

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ladykailitha · 2 years ago

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Royal Pain Part 19

Hey, guys. Sorry it took so long to get this out. The chapter was fighting me and I have had the absolutely worst week. However in slightly happier news, my partner got a new job and that means I should be able to quit mine and go back to writing full time. I'll let you know more when I do, but it's looking more and more likely.

I realized it had been a while since we had an Eddie centric chapter and decided this would be the one. And I left it on a cliffhanger again. But don't worry next chapter will see more than one villain vanquished.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18

***

Eddie was seething. He hadn’t been this mad since he learned Max was moving to New York. Actually. No. He was madder then that. He was pissed.

Gareth grimaced. “They won’t do anything?”

“No,” Eddie growled. “Because he technically hasn’t violated the protection order, according to them.”

“If he can’t get with in five hundred feet,” Brian said, “then how did he find out about Steve.”

Eddie threw up his arms into the air. “That’s what I asked.”

“I’m betting,” Mandy said, “that they didn’t have a good answer?”

“Apparently since Seth showed up at Hopper’s,” Eddie snarled, “and not Steve’s shop, that he was just going around to all the tattoo parlors and threatening everyone.”

Jeff rolled his eyes. “I bet they didn’t even check with other tattoo shops and just made that shit up.”

“I even talked to Officer Callahan who was in charge of the original case file because he’s not supposed to be out of jail yet,” Eddie said, beginning to pace. “He never went.”

“What?!” came the shocked cry of outrage from everyone.

“Yeah,” Eddie continued. “Apparently he made a deal with the DA and they didn’t tell me. He got two years probation.”

“That’s bullshit!” Mandy hissed. “He was going to kill you.”

“Criminal mischief,” Eddie said. “Domestic abuse down to criminal mischief. $300 fine, two year probation, and forced to take a class about how not to be a violent offender.”

“It’s because you’re a man, isn’t it?” Gareth asked, licking his lips slowly. “These fuckers don’t think a man can be abused.”

Eddie pursed his lips into a line and nodded.

“Hop’s calling in a couple of favors to keep Steve safe,” he said. “But that does jack shit about me. And this isn’t me calling out that shit. That’s Hop’s prerogative but he’s my dumb ass ex, who’s protecting me?”

“We are,” Jeff said. “You don’t go anywhere without one of us. Garth, since you’re the only one without a roommate at the moment, Eddie’s going to stay with you. Brian, talk to Cecil, he’s studying law. See what he can recommend.”

Gareth and Brian both nodded.

Eddie buried his head into his hands. “This is such bullshit.”

Mandy came up and gave him a hug. “We’ll get through this. We did before and we will again. And this time we have more people that would be willing to help. Steve, Robin, Chrissy, hell the whole of the Royal Pain would throw hands for you.”

Eddie chuckled. He knew that too. “Well, maybe not Erica.”

Brian snorted. “That girl would sell her own mother for a cookie.”

“Not even a Girl Scout cookie,” Jeff agreed. “That girl is bound for world domination.”

“No doubt.”

“You tell me right now,” Wayne said when Eddie had called that night, “do you need me up there? Because work be damned, boy, I’ll be up there in two shakes of lamb’s tail.”

Eddie chewed on his nail. He felt like that little boy all over again. Being given the choice between being with his uncle or being put in a foster home. He didn’t want to be a bother to anyone, but he knew. He knew that Wayne was someone that wouldn’t care. That he could be as big a bother as he wanted, he would still be loved.

He let out a shuddering breath and like that little boy all those years ago said, “Yes. Please.”

“I’ve got some vacation time coming,” Wayne said as if he didn’t have weeks and weeks of it stored up because he was never sick a day in his life. “I cane be up there for as long as you need me, you hear?”

“I’m staying with Gareth for the time being,” Eddie said solemnly, “because Jeff is worried that Seth will follow me home.”

“Smart man, your Jeff,” Wayne agreed. “I have a friend in Indy I can crash on the sofa of for a couple of days until I can find something a little more permanent.”

“Yeah,” he whispered. “Let me know when you get into town and we’ll meet up for lunch.”

“You can finally take me to that pizza place you’ve been going on about for months.”

Eddie laughed, a knot loosening in his chest. “You’ve got it, old man.”

A few days later Steve was waiting for the pizza he had ordered for the shop, playing silly games on his phone when the bell announced new arrivals. He looked up instinctively and grinned.

He waved. “Eddie!”

Eddie lit up with a big smile. “Stevie?” He hopped over, an older man following a little slower behind.

“Hey!” Steve greeted. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Eddie’s smile turned into a grin. “DiMaggio’s is the best pizza place in Indy, not coming here is a crime.”

“If it’s not it certainly should be,” Steve agreed with his own answering grin.

“Steve,” Eddie said, “this is my uncle, Wayne. He’s staying in town for a few days.”

Steve’s mood was dampened a bit, knowing why he was in town. “Nice to meet you. I was planning a trip back down Hawkins at the end of the summer so that Eddie could introduce us, sorry we had meet under lesser than ideal circumstances.”

Wayne blinked at him for a moment before turning to Eddie. “This one is a keeper.”

Eddie blushed, shoving his hair in front of his face, ducking his head to hide his embarrassment.

Steve just smiled fondly at him. “I think that’s up to him.”

Wayne’s eyebrows shot up. “I like him.”

That surprised a laugh out of Eddie causing him to drop the hair. “Me too.”

“Let me just go order our pizzas,” Eddie murmured and darted for the front counter.

“He’s cute,” Steve said, waving his hand to the chair in front of him for Wayne to sit.

Wayne took the seat and smiled. “He certainly is. I’m glad the world didn’t beat the silliness out of him.”

“Me too,” Steve agreed. “I love how earnest and outgoing he is.”

Wayne hummed. “He tell what was going on?”

Steve nodded. “I’m afraid it’s my fault. Seth came after me at a friend’s shop, tried to threaten me into leaving Eddie alone.”

“I don’t think being threatened is the fault of the victim,” he said, his voice a deep comforting rumble.

Steve blushed. “That’s what Jeff and Robin said.”

“Jeff I know,” Wayne said, “Robin I don’t, but it sounds to me like they both have their heads on straight and you should be listening to them and not that voice in the back of your head.” He tapped Steve forehead for emphasis.

The bell above the door rang again and Mike and Will walked in. Steve raised a eyebrow when he spotted them.

“DiMaggio’s is certainly hopping for a random Thursday,” he commented dryly to Will when he lead a slightly reluctant Mike over to their table. Eddie arrived at the table just moments later and there are hugs and greetings all around.

“You caused quite a stir at the latest family dinner,” Will said with a huge grin to Steve.

Steve huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, how did that happen?”

“Jonathan is back on Mom’s couch,” he said with a smirk.

Steve reared his head back. “And how did that involve me?”

“Argyle kicked him out of the apartment because him and Nancy lied to him about who’s fault your and her relationship ended.”

“Nancy is furious at them both,” Mike said with a half shrug. “I’m not sure their relationship is going to survive that little revelation.”

Steve winced. “Yeah...that’s on them though. How was I to know that Jonathan hadn’t been honest to Argyle about that.”

Eddie bumped his shoulder. “You weren’t.”

“Oh we are totally on your side,” Will said.

Mike nodded. “Yeah, man. It was straight up bullshit all the lying they did.”

“Mom’s pissed because she really liked you,” Will continued, “and believed Jonathan about how things went down. Like of course she did. He’s her son, but she should have tried to get your side of it.”

“Those eight years are totally on her,” Steve said, holding his hands up in surrender. “You’ve been trying to tell her for years to at least talk to me about it.”

Will and Mike nodded.

Mike chewed on his lip as he played with the loose string on the hem of his t-shirt. “Is it bad I hope Nancy and Jonathan break up?”

The table got silence for a moment.

Wayne lifted his chin. “Why’s that, son?”

“Because I don’t think she wants a relationship. I think she was only with Jonathan and Steve,” he said waving at him with his left hand, “is because that’s what you’re ‘supposed’ to do.”

“Steve!” the counter called.

Steve got up to get his pizza order, he stopped back at the table. “I don’t think it’s a bad you want your sister to learn how to be herself without a partner. I think it shows that you’re more mature then she is. You’re a good man, Mike.”

He clapped Mike’s shoulder and then waved goodbye to everyone. He pulled out his keys and walked out to his car, flipping the key ring around as he thought.

He never intended this to happen when he saw his ex at the grocery store, but honestly? Maybe it was a good thing to get all those wounds brought to light so that they could heal properly.

For all their sakes.

Steve was ready for the weekend. His week had been a literal hell. But Eddie had promised that he would have fun. The band had been practicing a couple of new songs and were debuting them Saturday night.

He sat at the curve of the table, sandwiched between Robin, who wouldn’t care, only to tease him mercilessly later, and Mandy who got it, how fucking sexy Eddie and the band was when they were on stage.

Steve wished he could say he was better prepared every time Eddie got on stage, but every week Eddie went out of his way to drive Steve absolutely wild.

“He does this on purpose doesn’t he?” Steve asked after a particularly hot number where Eddie fell to his knees grinding on his guitar.

Mandy laughed. “I would like to put you out of your misery and say yes, but no. When Eddie gets on stage he loses all connection to the audience and just rocks out. His fans love it.”

Steve looked around the dingy bar and had to agree. They were just as turned on as he was. He shifted uncomfortably in his jeans, clearing his throat. “If we...” he cleared his throat again. “I mean if Eddie were to–if we were–”

Mandy took pity on him. “If you two were going out would the fans tear you to pieces for touching what they can’t?”

Steve bit his lip and nodded, looking at his hands that were twisted in lap.

She gave his knee a squeeze. “I honestly don’t know what the fans would do. But Eddie wouldn’t give a damn what they think. He’s been booed before for a song that they didn’t think was metal enough and he didn’t let that stop him. Not once.”

Steve let out a breath. It was always something that worried him. He knew he went against the grain in everything he did, but he didn’t want that with Eddie. He didn’t want to be with Eddie just because it went against the norm of what was expected of either of them.

They arrived at the club and already Robin was on the dance floor. She loved dancing and soon Mandy, Chrissy, Jeff, and Brian were out there with her. Gareth, Eddie, and Steve watched in amusement as their friends let loose on the dance floor, living it up under the rainbow lights and the thumping beat of the music.

Steve turned around and Eddie wasn’t there.

“You seen Eddie?” he shouted at Gareth.

Gareth shot up and looked around. “Shit.”

Somehow during their watching of their friends cutting it up, Eddie had slipped away.

“You check out back to see if he’s gone for a smoke,” Steve said.

Gareth nodded.

“I’m going to check the bar.”

Gareth nodded again.

Across the crowded room, a man in a tailored white suit grinned as he moved to the back of the club where the restrooms were, eyes glittering with want and rage as he scented his prey.

***

Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Epilogue

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk @renaissan-vvitch @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @justforthedead89 @emly03 @bookworm0690 @aizawa-emma @redfreckledwolf @thesuninyaface @bookbinderbitch @yikes-a-bee @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet @archermightbegay @hallucinatedjosten @ellietheasexylibrarian @anne-bennett-cosplayer @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @bestwifehaver @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @oldwitcheshat @nightmareglitter @tinyplanet95

#stranger things #steddie #my writing #tattoo artist steve #ladykailtiha writes

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s-dei · 7 months ago

Note

I wonder, how in your opinion did Illidan's and Khadgar's relationship started?

Hi anon!!! Thank you for askin, it will be fun to dive into my mind of 5 years ago and recall all the stuff :'D (It can go out of control…)

(IT DID went out of control, so I'm throwin it under the cut 😂) There may be typos or mistakes, haven't checked and lazy.

I think I should start with character's reasons to be interested in eachother. Like, beside from "we happened to be in the same place doing the same thing (fighting Legion)", a more specific moments from the both sides.

Khadgar's side: 1) He was glad to get one more ally who is really passionate to fight Legion. Of course, Legion was everyone's business at a moment, and there were a lot of powerful allies. And Illidan is well - pretty controversial person. But at this moment Khadgar was really exhausted, and still was questioning a lot his Guardian role (even if it was only nominal), and Illidan was realy personal with Legion. So he was mostly glad someone else wanted to take the main role (while there also were moments of regret xD)

2) That's a curious magic nerd Khadgar. And an ancient demon-elf. Of course he wants to ask something, even if he knows even more ancient creatures. While not using it himself, he would enjoy to listen about dark ways of magic or something.

3) Illidari. He was unsure at first, but in the end enjoyed 'babysitting' them. Even when Illidan is back, he still cares about them and asks if they need something, or just comes to chit-chat. He is also curious to know especially about the bond of Illidari and their Master, from the both sides.

Illidan's side: 1) That's a magic nerd Illidan (in other ways, but still here we are). And a human mage wielding a great power AND having mark of Sargeras left on his aura. Of course Illidan is curious about it. And he wants it - in a greedy demonic way he holds back, so he is just going with decent conversation.

2) Khadgar is an ally you better to team up with. Of course Illidan Stormrage is mighty and powerful, but he still lives in society 😂 Azeroth changed a lot since he went to Outland, the ruling power is different now. Illidan came back to life, but he's still a war criminal, and many ppl want him dead or in prison again. Of cooourse they need him to fight Legion, but if the war is over succesfully, who will speak for him and Illidari? Oh, maybe it will be Khadgar, who is suddenly non-hostile (while he have all the rights to be after Outland?) Let's keep it as an option. Illidari say too that he's really cool ally.

3) Some really far-fetched stuff, but Illidan pays attention to details. Back in the WotA he was trained by Rhonin and fought along Kur'talos Ravencrest, and so he makes a remark about Khadgar and his raven form. Even if Illidan chooses his way himself (tm), sometimes he still thinks about the promised Fate of his, and wonders if it is in a things repeating. (That's just me bringin all the lore bits to one pile, I love it. Khadgar also was in a Black Temple. Mind it)

Both sides: sharing the feeling of a "missed time". One literally spent hella majority of his life in isolation, and the other turned into oldman in his 17 (or 19? damn i always confuse those numbers). I think it works kinda equal for them, and they went "oooh, you understand?"

Events

Sooo in my vision, Khadgar already had some opinion about Illidan and things to ask him, and Illidan was fine with speaking to him aside from Illidari to know more about events happened in the world. I think before Brokenshore campaign started, they had a few personal and group meetings, and found out that they share something in common while having different tempers.

When the campaign began, things went… complicated xD They started to find out their differences, and always were loud discussing it and their disagreement. Sometimes they started with disagreement and finished with agreement, keeping it with a passive agression :Д Were they mad? They had fun! Mostly. I think both enjoyed a 'look i'm having a dispute with this important dude'

But besides from discussing strategy and other serious stuff, they still had a moments of discussions of magic and past events (unless they were too personal). Khadgar shared stuff with him, from food and drinks to artifacts and books, and enjoyed watching how Illidan interacts with it. Sometimes amazed. And often endeared. There was actions from Illidan's side as well, but he mostly did it via Illidari (not like he was ashamed, just really busy). And they mostly said "yeeeeah this is from Lord Illidan!"

Eventually Khadgar fell in love and WAS TERRIFIED. He spent a lot of time figuring out what he really feels. When he came to conclusion, he thought a lot if he should confess, coz it's fkin Illidan Stormrage. It felt so crazy, but Khadgar decided that his life is going crazy for a while, and he decided to try. I can see Khadgar as a person who isn't going love crazy right away. He feels something buzzing, a certain kind of interest, but it's not a "omg this is the one and only person in my life" untill they go mutual. He, of course, will be sad if Illidan rejects him, and it will take some time to recover, but he isn't going to keep it forever.

And so he decided to confess. He purposely have chosen a short peacefull moment before some big battle in case if the things go awkward or even bad, so they both have an excuse to leave.

Now coming back to Illidan and what he felt. Ngl he's a complicated char if you want to go thoughtful with him. But I think during this time he became a little sympathetic with Khadgar. Found him special in one ways and annoying in others, but def considered him and ally and maybe even a friend, while he wasn't going to admit it outloud.

Still, the confession made him baffled (even if he suspected it a bit). If it was someone else, he would just say "lol no" and leaved. But he was really curious about Khadgar's reasons and what the actual fuck. He couldn't say he felt something even similar to love, but also didn't went with just a "no". He said that Khadgar is probably mistaken, or just don't realize that he isn't the type to build a 'true lovestory' with and live happily ever after. He is a demon and his passion is already going on hating Legion, so don't you expect a romantic fairytale. Khadgar said that he pretty aware of all of this, he isn't going to fix Illidan, or cure his scars, or bring him into typical lovey-dovey routine. "How about we just find our own way?"

You see, Illidan says "yes" in any case, but I can see it going in different ways: - First is a direct "yes", but not in a "i want to be with you" way. It's a "You know what, I will be with you, and I'm curious how you gonna handle it". Being baffled at first, he is now going into offence and declares "If you want a challenge, I'm giving it to you". Not love - a challenge. The challenge isn't about Illidan being a demon/ancient/edgy person. It's about the fact Illidan knows zero shit about romance and he's goin to explore it and experiment af (of course he didn't said it literally, but he implied). He is going to be unbearable. And he enjoys how Khadgar reacts - confused and happy and non-believing and terrified. He's goin to love it. - Second is Illidan taking a time to think, and they talk once more after the battle was over. This conversation is more calm, more intimate and Illidan lets Khadgar close to try and see how he feels about it. They speak about some personal stuff, and while Illidan didn't said it directly, he implied he don't mind to try (yet warns that it still won't be a lovey-dovey stuff). (ngl, their moment of confession is so hard, I tried to write it 5 times with different words, so I will never come to a single solution)

Illidan promised no lovey-dovey, but he found out he enjoys it actually 😌👌

I think I have some more stuff to say, but this post already went WILD. IDK, feel free to ask more direct questions or somethin :)

#sdei ask #anon #headcanon area #illigar #long post

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